Bet
by KissMeDeadlyT-T
Summary: Behold my awesome title skills. -Allen loses a bet to Lavi and has to trade outfits with Lenalee for a day. According to Lavi, it is a fool-proof plan to get Kanda to fall in love with him. Allen has his doubts. Really. Unless Kanda really is the closet pervert Lavi claims he is... -Rated for stupidity and cross-dressing, language, Yullen/Arekan.
1. Chapter 1: Poor Allen

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: Sleep deprivation = Ridiculous fic ideas! Yaayyy! :D **

**I don't own D Gray Man 'cause if I did Lavi would be with Lenalee and Yullen would be canon! Oh, and Tyki and Kanda would be less sexy so my ovaries could stop exploding all the time.**

**xxXXxxXXxx**

Sometimes, Allen really just wanted to punch Lavi in the face.

Other times, he wanted to punch himself.

_Honestly. _How had he gotten himself into this mess?

Unfortunately, he knew how, and it was so stupid and cringe-worthy that it made him want to curl up into a ball of angst and drown in self-pitying despair. He had made a bet the other day with Lavi that he could go a whole day without fighting with or getting mad at Kanda, while at the same time spending as much time in the Japanese boy's vicinity as possible. Allen, being the idiot he now truly believed he was, had accepted the bet seeing as how he was a gentleman and therefore _obviously_ had a firm grasp on his temper.

Yeah.

He didn't know how he'd come to that conclusion.

Needless to say, Allen did not last two hours in Kanda's company without snapping and tackling the samurai to the ground and punching and kicking and hell, even _biting_ everywhere he could reach as Kanda did the same right back at him. His shoulder still smarted from where Kanda had landed a rather brutal hit after Allen had roughly yanked on one of the strands of hair framing his face, and the dull pain only served to remind Allen of how pathetically he had lost the bet. He could still see the devilish glee in Lavi's one visible eye when he had walked in on them beating the shit out of each other.

"He started it," Allen claimed immediately, arm still reared back in preparation to punch Kanda in the head.

Kanda, who had his hands wrapped firmly around Allen's neck, tightened his grip and snarled, "Oh, please. You were the one who attacked _me_, bean sprout."

"Because you _provoked _me!" Allen tried to bite at Kanda's arm to make him let go but Kanda just gave him a disgusted look and shoved him back. They wrestled for a moment, during which Lavi watched with a sort of perverse interest, and Allen ended up on the ground underneath Kanda, growling up at him. "And don't call me that, you fucking jerk! Get off of me!"

"No," Kanda responded coldly. "I walked by and said, 'What are you doing sitting by this random column alone, bean sprout?' and you flipped. I fail to see how you took that as a provocation."

"You said it in a rude way!"

"I did not. I said it in my normal voice." Kanda sounded like he was debating whether or to just choke Allen to death to shut him up. He was in the perfect position.

Actually, it was a position Allen quite enjoyed, even with Kanda's hands around his throat. He had always been a bit masochistic when it came to him. "You normal voice is rude," he retorted.

"Do you lack brain cells?"

"Probably, after listening to you talk."

"Funny, I could say the same."

"Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuyyyysss," Lavi interrupted. "Does it really matter who started it? Just saying, though, Yuu, it was probably your fault 'cause I mean, you're kind you and there's something' about you that makes Allen sketch out and stuff. Probably he just has some sexual frustrations that he doesn't know how to deal with or something, I dunno. Either way, Allen, you lost the bet!"

Allen ignored that bit about the sexual frustrations because Lavi was always poking fun at the fact that Allen had a stupid crush on stupid Kanda anyways. He also ignored the weird look Kanda was giving him. "Yeah, fine. What do I have to do now?"

"Well first, you have to get out from under Kanda. I know how you dream about this position, but—" Lavi was interrupted by Allen violently throwing a random object at his head. He rubbed at the sore spot with a reproachful, "Come on, just come with me to Lenalee's room. It's all set up."

Allen felt his previously blushing face pale. And he was still under Kanda. Which he supposed was a good thing, all things considered. "Lenalee?"

This just got ten times worse. Lavi and Lenalee were dating (only Allen, Kanda, Miranda and an anguished Komui knew) and it often seemed like the couple shared a brain. An evil, plotting brain, that was constantly scheming up ways to try and get Allen and Kanda together. Not only did it only succeed in extremely awkward moments— Allen didn't even want to _think_ about that time Lavi had shoved him into the baths and he'd landed on top of a very angry and very naked Yuu Kanda— but Allen doubted it would ever happen for two reasons.

One; Kanda wasn't his biggest fan. Everyone knew that. Sure, Allen supposed they were friends, and they had been through a lot together, and he would admit that he trusted Kanda with his life and knew that Kanda felt the same, though the bastard was too stubborn to admit it. But still. It was well-known that Kanda usually just wanted Allen to get squashed by a convenient meteor.

Two; he was fairly positive that Kanda wasn't gay or even bisexual for that matter. After that whole episode with Alma, Allen knew about Kanda's past and he knew about _her_. It was strange to think that Kanda would have had a lover, even in a pass life, but there it was. Plus. Like he said before. He really didn't think Kanda liked girls all that much, let alone guys. Let alone white-haired, creepy armed and cursed Allen Walker.

Despite these two very solid reasons, Lavi and Lenalee were still very convinced that Kanda was Allen's soulmates and only people who were stupid and blind didn't see that. When Allen pointed out that no one besides them saw it, Lavi had just smiled knowingly and said something like "Oh, bean sprout, little do you know. Little do you know." Apparently, the only reason they fought so much was because they were both too dense to act on their love. Allen had his doubts. Lavi was convinced. Lenalee mostly sat there squealing because she thought it was cute.

Yeah.

Allen really didn't think Lavi had an adequate amount of brain cells.

Kanda was looking at them suspiciously from where he was still sitting on the floor. Allen wondered why he hadn't gotten up, then decided it was Kanda and questioning his ways was really a pointless endeavour. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Oh, well, Allen and I had a bet goin', see. He lost. Rather pathetically, I would say." Lavi nodded as Allen shot him a half-assed glare that mostly just made him look sulky. Well, he was sulking. In the manliest way possible. "So now, it's time for him to face the loser's punishment."

"What is it?" Allen asked, a ball of dread forming in his chest. Kanda stood up then and Allen had half a mind to go and hide behind him to get away from Lavi's evil grin. Maybe Kanda would protect him. Probably not. "Oh crap, you guys aren't gonna make me do anything like I had to do last time, are you?"

Lavi shook his head with a grin. Allen looked relieved until he said cheekily, "Nah, it's worse."

Kanda smirked a bit when Allen let out a groan of despair. "What did they make you do last time?"

Oh, it all went to hell when Kanda got curious. Allen made a face. "I really don't want to say…"

"Last time," Lavi said this all very casually, "we made him wear one of Krory's frilly tops with one of Lenalee's bras, on top of the shirt, and made him go yodel in mediocre German to Jerry."

Kanda's smirk twitched a bit, like he was trying not to grin. Allen rather wanted to punch the sadistic bastard's face. "That sounds… interesting."

"You should have seen it, Yuu. I think it could have made even you laugh."

"It wasn't _funny_," Allen said, holding his head in his hands in ultimate humiliation. "I don't know how you think anything can be worse than that. Jerry got scared. He got so scared he threatened to never feed me ever again if I didn't stop!"

"And we all know how horrible that would be," Kanda remarked dryly. Allen shot him a glare.

"It'd be awful! I would die!"

"I would reconsider the use of 'awful' in that statement."

"Oh ha, ha, Kanda, you're so funny. Wait, hold on. Let me reconsider that."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. Really." Allen glared more. Then he stuck his tongue out and added, "Asshole."

"Tch, bean sprout."

"_Aaaaaaaanyway_," Lavi said loudly, once again interrupting their pointless bickering. "Lenalee is waiting, Allen. We should get going."

Allen kind of would rather not go, actually. He'd even prefer staying here with Kanda, who was still wearing that smirk that made Allen want to punch him and kiss him and do all sorts of naughty inappropriate things he really shouldn't be thinking about to him all at the same time. However, Allen did lose the bet, and he liked to keep his word. He vehemently cursed himself for being such a good person. He'd had a shitty life. He should have the right to be an asshole.

"Ugh, fine. Let's get this over with…"

"Would you like for me to prepare you a casket, Walker?" Kanda asked sarcastically.

"Oh my god, yes. Thank you, that would be perfect," Allen responded, not so sarcastically. He was beginning to think he might need one. Kanda just smirked again and walked away in the opposite direction. Allen was sorry to see him go. He sort of felt like Kanda was the only reason he wasn't currently being embarrassed to death right now. With a sigh, he looked to Lavi.

"Well, let's go…"

Lavi practically cackled with unbridled glee as he dragged Allen to his prison and Allen resigned himself to the fact that it was just his fate to have such a shitty life.

**xxXXxxXXxx**

Yes. Allen really wanted to punch Lavi in the face.

He turned away from the mirror in which he'd been gaping at horror at his reflection to face Lenalee and Lavi, whose grinning faces he'd been able to see in the mirror were ten times more wicked now. When Lavi saw the look of suicidal intent on Allen's face, he burst out laughing, falling backwards onto Lenalee's bed and rolling back and forth. Allen sort of wished Lavi would choke on his spit and die or something. Lenalee had more dignity than this and just giggled a bit and walked up until she was next to him.

"My turn," she said playfully, bumping him softly aside with her hip. "Hmmmm." She hummed to herself as she twisted from side to side, looking at her reflection. She was wearing long black pants tucked into black leather boots and a short black jacket with red details. A gold chain shone when it caught in the light across the chest of the coat and her bob-cut just brushed the slightly loose collar. "Hm, you know, your clothes don't look that bad on me, Allen! Your waist is about the same size as mine."

Allen, on the other hand, wasn't quite so pleased. He was stuck in a bright red miniskirt— _which barely brushed the middle of his thighs_ and _probably_ would leave nothing to the imagination if it was even one inch shorter— and a similar jacket. It was a bit snug on his chest and around his shoulders, and he couldn't do the Asian-styled collar up without choking. The skirt was _way_ too short for his taste— hell, he never wanted to wear a _long _one, let alone one that would show his goddamn underwear if he bent over. Never before had he wanted to crawl into a corner and die so badly in his life. Things couldn't get worse, could they?

And then Lenalee said, "Oh, wait a sec," and handed him a pair of baby blue thigh-high socks. "Here, you forgot these."

_Goddamnit, life! That was a rhetorical question!_

Allen groaned. "Do I have to?"

"Yes," Lenalee and Lavi said at the same time with identical straight faces.

Allen groaned again and fell onto the bed, sliding the socks up his legs and informing them, "I'm going to get you guys back for this, sleep with one eye open. Don't go anywhere alone. Expect the unexpected. I swear. You _will_ pay." He stood up when he was done putting the stockings on and pointedly ignored Lavi's snickering and Lenalee's giggling. "Can I at least wear my own boots so I can walk?"

Lavi considered it, tapping his lip. "Well…"

"Oh, let's give him a break," Lenalee said, slipping his boots off her feet and handing them to him. "They're too big for me anyway, and he'll embarrass himself in heels."

"Right," Allen said. "It's definitely the heels that are going to be embarrassing."

Lenalee giggled again. "Don't be ridiculous, Allen! You look amazing. I'm actually kind of jealous. I wish I had your hips.

"I bet Kanda wished he had Allen's hips too. You know. Pinned to his bed underneath him, squirming like a little bitch~"

Allen groaned, trying _really hard_ not to envision that, and put on his boots. "Shut _up_, Lavi." He almost felt relieved at the feeling of familiar footwear. Almost. And then he looked in the mirror again and let out a self-pitying moan of despair. "Do I have to leave the room?"

"Of course!" Lenalee said like it was the most obvious thing in the world and Allen was being ridiculous. "You have to pretend it's a normal day. Do whatever you do usually."

"Just be careful you don't accidentally give someone a free show," Lavi added with a grin, laughing when Allen's face became dramatically paler. "Unless it's Kanda," he mused. "You know, he might really like that."

Allen's shoulders hiked up to his ears and his ghost-like pallor turned into the shining red of a tomato. "Shut up! No he wouldn't!"

"Oh, I think he would. Kanda might not look it, but he's actually a huge pervert."

Allen's curiosity was piqued despite everything. "No way," he said, squinting his eyes suspiciously. "Kanda? A pervert?"

"Yeah. I bet—"

"No more bets! Ever!"

"Oh, fine. I _say_ that Kanda is going to flip when he sees you like this." Allen groaned again at that but Lavi ignored him. "Actually, I can almost guarantee it. Of course, it won't be anything extravagant, I mean, Kanda is the furthest from extravagant. I doubt that word is even in his dictionary. But anyway."

Allen paled again for some reason. "No. No. _No._ I am _not _going out there, Lavi, you can't make me!"

"But, Allen—"

"Neither can you, Lenalee! I'd rather— I'd rather never eat mitarashi dango ever again than go out there and be seen in a miniskirt." He looked at himself. "And stockings. Oh my God I am wearing _stockings_."

"You look good in them," Lavi commented, smirking. "Really. You shouldn't be so shy!"

"Oh shut it! How would _you_ like it, going out there in— in _this_? I'm going to lose my man card to hard, Lavi, it'll be like I never had one in the first place. It will be erased from the planet entirely. Oh my God my dick will invert and I will grow a _goddamn vagina_."

Lavi burst out laughing again because Allen really looked like he believed it would happen. "Don't be ridiculous! That's physically impossible!"

"It is going to happen metaphorically! I will metaphorically have a vagina!"

"Maybe metaphorically," Lenalee said, "but at least you won't for real. It's a pain, having to deal with having one every month. Trust me."

This did not make Allen feel any better. He fell facefirst onto the bed next to Lavi. "Oh my God. Oh my God, kill me…" he muttered into the comforter. He felt something brush the sensitive skin of the back of his thigh and yelped, jerking away. Lavi snickered.

"Cutest bum _ever_. Besides Lenalee's of course, but you know. Pretty close."

"Lavi!"

"Kanda will like."

"I'm going to go Crown Clown on your ass and kill you!"

"Innocence can only kill that which is evil," Lavi said in a bored voice like he was reading from a text.

"Exactly! You guys are evil!"

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Allen absolutely panicked. "Who is it?" he hissed to Lenalee, scrambling to hide behind the bed. Lavi's sudden tight grip around his waist made this impossible but he kept struggling and squirming, determined to hide.

Lenalee went and checked, cracking the door open a fraction and peeking out. "Oh, Kanda, what are you doing here?"

As soon as Allen heard that name, he looked at Lavi with wide eyes and furiously whispered, "Let me go! Let me go, damn it,_ Lavi_―" His voice bordered on hysterical and he squirmed more, but Lavi's arms around his waist would not give. "Lavi, I swear―"

"Shhh, bean sprout. You're cute and all, but Kanda will hear you…"

Allen clamped his lips shut and froze up, spine becoming as stiff as a rod against the bed. He listened as well as he could and ignored the grin Lavi was giving him and tried to pretend Lavi wasn't bridged on top of him and tried to focus on breathing―but mother of everything that was holy, _Kanda was right outside that door.  
_  
And Allen was just in here wearing a miniskirt.

"No, I don't have any extras," Lenalee was saying. "Sorry, Kanda. Maybe you could ask Miranda?"

A few moments later, she said good-bye and shut the door. Allen swallowed. "So what did he want?"

"He needed a hair elastic, because apparently his tie snapped when he was in the baths."

Allen turned red up to the roots oh his hair and really tried not to picture Kanda in the bath. "Ah," he said weakly.

Lenalee observed their position on the bed and pursed her lips. "Now, normally I'd be all for this, because it's kind of hot, but… Lavi, is this necessary?"

"Hm?"

"You're being a pervert to poor Allen, aren't you..."

"Oh, I suppose." Lavi grinned a bit and then looked down at Allen, who was still flushed and was now staring awkwardly up at the redhead. "He's so cute, though. It's hard not to be."

"Lavi," Allen muttered irritably.

Lavi grinned again and got off of Allen, who sat up and adjusted the skirt so it was at least covering his crotch better. "How do you wear this all the time without being awkward?" he asked Lenalee glumly.

"It's a girl thing. I got used to it."

"You should get used to it too, Allen. Wear more skirts. It's a good look for you."

"_La. Vi._"

"Kidding, kidding. Well, sorta." Lavi stood up. "Enough dilly-dallying, shall we depart," he extended a hand Allen's way, "my lady?"

Allen just shot him a dirty look that could probably rival Kanda's usual scowl and sat up on his own, crossing his arms. He forced himself not to look in the damned mirror. Maybe if he pretended it wasn't happening, it wouldn't be so bad.

**xxXXxxXXxx**

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: Please review! If people like it, I'll try to get the next chapter up ASAP! I don't know if there will be a lemon, though, or just some perverseness. I'll see how it goes (:**

**-I'm tired! Hehehehe, I need a Roy Mustang plushie… wait I am in the DGM fandom right now. No Mustang. Tyki instead. Or Kanda. Or wait—BAK! MM YES,** **I DO LIKE ME SOME BAK****.**** Anyway.**

**Thanks for reading! **


	2. Chapter 2: Kanda is an awkward boy c:

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: So… many… reviews…and… follows… *falls over and twitches***

**Thank you. So much. *sparkly eyes* I love my readers. I feel like a famous person when you guys review. Really. Sometimes I even cry. Sometimes I'm like when Allen and Timcanpy reunite on the Ark and I am Allen and you guys are Timcanpy and I'm just like "OH GOD! I LOVE YOU! I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D DO WITHOUT YOU!" or something. :'3 And those people who I recognize and have reviewed a lot of my fics, I'd just hug you all do death if I ever met you. I might begin stalking you just to do so. **

'**Cause I love you. c: **

**Oh and **_**yullenai**_**, since you so specifically professed your love for me, I love you too! :D And **_**Epic F. Awesomesauce**_**, don't die, that would suck. :c **

**Well I'm done taking up your guys' time with my ridiculous antics, I'll let you go on to the story. :D**

**xxXXxxXXxx**

A few teasing catcalls and (frighteningly enough, real) whistles later, Allen took back that thought. It was definitely just as bad as it would be if he acknowledged the skirt.

He had spent the last couple hours in complete and utter awkward discomfort― it wasn't the outfit was uncomfortable, in fact, the skirt was rather refreshing because it was loose. It was just that it was _so short_. He had to tug it back down every five seconds and had to keep pulling up the stockings when they slid down his legs, which meant he had to bend over, which gave whoever was behind him a free show. He gave up. He couldn't win.

He was staring at the ground and ignoring murmurs around him (or trying— a lot of them made him blush, though) and following Lavi and Lenalee's feet when they abruptly stopped. He stopped too, nearly running into the Lenalee, and looked up to see what was wrong.

Nothing, it turned out, was wrong― just that they couldn't decide on a table in the dining hall to sit in. As they were bickering, Allen spotted a familiar sullen-looking face in the back of the room and the furthest table and began vehemently praying that they wouldn't notice him, wouldn't drag Allen over there to sit with Kanda and suffer in immeasurably awkward misery.

He did have a backbone to say no, he supposed, but Lavi and Lenalee would very well rip that backbone out and drag Allen's limp and lifeless carcass along with them.

Luck really didn't seem to be on his side today, and he heard Lavi say, "Wait, is that Yuu?"

"No, I think it's someone else," Allen said nervously.

"Don't be ridiculous! No one else here has long hair like he does! And no one else has that terrifying 'approach me and I will kill you' aura about them!"

"Are you sure? It could be… um, someone else."

"Like who?"

"…Not Kanda."

"Nice try, Allen." Lavi smirked and nudged Allen forward. "Well, come on, let's go order some food, hm?"

Allen let out yet another groan and forced himself not to turn around and punch Lavi's grin right off his face. Doing his best to appear small, he walked behind Lenalee and used her as a shield as they walked to the counter where Jerry was leaning, whistling a random tune. The chef's lips curled into a huge smile when he saw them approaching, and he straightened.

"What can I get you?" he asked cheerfully. Lavi put in his order and Lenalee asked for a salad. Allen was still hiding. Jerry frowned. "Allen? Aren't you going to order anything?"

"I'm not that hungry," Allen said, letting out a nervous laugh. Really, he was starving— but he figured that if he didn't get a lot to eat, then he could get out of the cafeteria and away from Kanda faster. Jerry pursed his lips.

"Now honey, that won't do. Come on, surely there's something you want?"

Allen's stomach growled. He ignored it. "Nope. I'm good."

Then, Jerry seemed to notice Lavi and Lenalee's grins and Allen's unfortunate wardrobe. His eyebrows furrowed in sympathetic understanding. "You should really stop making bets with these two, you know?"

"Oh," Allen said, glaring at them, "trust me. I've learnt my lesson."

Lenalee giggled. "Come on, Allen, we can all hear your stomach growling. Just order something, and stop worrying about Kanda so much!"

"It's not just _Kanda_. You realize it's packed in here, right? Everyone will see me," Allen said miserably.

"Act like a girl. They probably won't be able to tell the difference."

This made Allen glare at Lavi so darkly that Lavi almost saw his life flash before his eyes. "What the hell are you implying?" Allen asked dangerously.

"Just that you're thin… keep your head down and they might think you're a muscley girl."

Allen still looked angry, but Lenalee's soft smack to the back of his head distracted him. "Allen, order food before you pass out."

"_Fine_."

Sixteen orders of random food later, Lavi and Lenalee had their orders while Allen was still waiting for his to be made. Allen leaned against the wall and was about to make idle conversation (mostly to distract himself from how much life sucked right now) when Lenalee smiled and said, "We'll meet you at the table, okay?"

"What? No!" Allen panicked, pushing away from the wall. If they left him, he'd have to walk all the way across the cafeteria _alone_ in this stupid outfit! He'd seen the lecherous glances Lenalee got in this skirt, and he'd felt the ones on him already— he didn't think he could deal with that! Oh, the inhumanity! Lenalee looked startled, and so Allen quickly went on, "I might need help carrying my trays!" It was a pathetic attempt, he knew. But hell, it wasn't his fault he was about to have a nervous breakdown!

"That's silly!" Lavi said, waving a hand. "Every other day Jerry helps you, and plus we have to get over there and make sure Kanda doesn't leave, right?"

Allen let out a nervous laugh. "Oh, he looks like he's enjoying his soba, look. I'm sure he won't leave. Don't leave me."

"Fine," Lavi sighed. "If it makes you feel better, I'll stay and wait with you." He looked at Lenalee. "You're better at talking to Kanda alone, anyways, and he's more likely to stay if you go. Since Allen is about to shit himself, I'll stay here and be his metaphorical toilet paper."

Allen could have kissed Lavi in that moment if not for the slightly disturbing analogy. Lenalee nodded and walked off with her salad, and Allen watched as she sat down next to Kanda and began chatting animatedly. Kanda didn't look homicidal, so Allen figured he must be in a good mood. Well, that was good. At least he didn't have to worry about dying. Maybe just a bit of maiming. He could deal with that.

He let out a sigh of relief and shot Lavi a grateful smile. Even if this was all his fault in the first place. "Thanks. I didn't want to stand here like this by myself."

"I know," Lavi grinned. "I didn't buy that bit about the trays for a second." He leaned his elbows on the counter. "I know you're embarrassed, but really, I think weird things go on often enough around here that no one is really thinking twice about that you're wearing a skirt. Plus, even if you don't like it, you do look really good in it, so if people are staring, it's 'cause you're hot." Allen turned bright red at this and sputtered denials, but Lavi just shrugged and continued, "Plus, the only real reason we made you wear something like this is because, well, we _do_ want Kanda to notice you so you two can live happily ever after and have a bunch of glorious hot sex and stuff."

Allen's face skipped a few shades of red and now resembled a ripe cherry. "I _know_," he said in an indignant voice. "And while I'm all for it… I… at the same time, I'm perfectly fine with just _wanting_ him. I don't want him to know, I—" He seemed to awkwardly shrink into himself and mumbled, "I just don't want to mess up what we have now. It's a messy and barely existing friendship as it is."

"Listen." Lavi's voice was serious for the first time all day, and Allen looked up at him, surprised. "I really don't think you're going to mess it up. Really, Allen, you look hot as hell in that skirt and trust me when I say that Kanda is a pervert deep down under that whole 'Fuck you for living' exterior. Plus, he already has a hard enough time not jumping you when you're dressed _normally_." Allen didn't think it was possible to turn darker or for his face to get hotter, but against all odds, it did. Lavi grinned and put his hands behind his head. "Kanda likes you, idiot."

"…Somehow I don't think 'like' is the right word… Maybe you could substitute it with, like… 'wants to kill' instead."

"Oh, shush, you. I know he's Kanda and doesn't seem to really like anything, but he does consider us friends or he wouldn't even give us the time of day. And I've said this _so_ many times before, but part of the reason he's always picking fights with you is because he likes you and doesn't know how to deal with it. It's kinda cute."

Allen felt a bit lightheaded. "How would you know?" he asked weakly.

That evil grin reappeared. "I have my ways."

"Don't I deserve a real answer?" Allen pouted. "Come on, I'm standing here in a skirt."

"Heh. Well… fine. I'll just say this- if you ever want to get something out of Kanda, get him drunk."

Allen's jaw dropped. "You— you actually managed to get him drunk? How did you do that without dying?"

Lavi had a solemn look about him. "It's an arduous task, trust me. When's his in one of his rare good moods, you know, where he doesn't want to kill someone, he can be quite sociable. Well. Maybe not _sociable_ per se, but… less homicidal, y'know? Well somehow Lenalee convinced him to have a drink, and well… I wanted to see what kind of drunk he was so I just kept filling his glass back up when he wasn't paying attention." Lavi smirked a bit. "Honestly, he can't hold his alcohol at _all_."

Allen's interest was quite piqued at this point and he found himself gaping openly Kanda's way. "Oh wow… I can't even picture a drunk Kanda." He tried again. Nope. As hard as he tried to think otherwise, Kanda would always be stoic and asshole-y in his mind. And occasionally all seductive and sexy and stuff— but he didn't need to be thinking about that right now. "Just… wow."

"Yeah, it turns out he's quite the talker when he's drunk. It's like everything he doesn't say all day just comes out. It was actually worse than Miranda when she's on one of her apologizing spiels." Allen's eyes widened even more in shock; he didn't think _anything_ was worse than that. "He got kinda horny too and started getting all mad and saying he wanted to beat you up. It was a hassle telling him you were on a mission. Really."

Oh. Ohhhh. Allen's stomach was doing all sorts of weird acrobatics and jumps and he really didn't appreciate it; he didn't like having a circus in his tummy, seriously. He almost didn't believe Lavi's story about the wasted Kanda, but why would Lavi lie? Crap. Now Allen felt even more nervous, but for a different reason.

Kanda.

Oh god.

_Fuck you, seriously, Kanda, this is your fault._

"There's no way I can go over there now, knowing that," Allen said with wide eyes. "I will have a nervous breakdown. I can't deal with this, Lavi! I was so much happier thinking he hated me! Now you say he _wants_ me? That's so wrong! This is Kanda we're talking about! All he wants from me is to be his punching bag. Which I don't even mind! But now you're throwing this in there! My life! My life is a lie!" Then his stomach grumbled and he thought of cake. "Oh god, the cake is a lie!"

"You're funny when you're having a nervous breakdown."

"This isn't funny, Lavi! Listen- just because he was _drunk_ and he said that, it doesn't mean it's true! He wasn't in his right mind, and-"

"Drunk words are sober thoughts," Lavi said in a wise voice. "It'll be a lot tougher to get him to admit it when he _is_ in his right mind, though. Which," he grinned, "is why you are wearing that miniskirt. Despite everything, Kanda _is_ human. Even he can't ignore the object of his very secret desire wearing something like that. Lord knows I have a hard time not molesting Lenalee at every moment of the day when she's wearing it."

Allen was muttering things and staring into the distance. "Oh god… oh god, this is weird…"

"What would you do if Kanda was wearing a miniskirt?"

Allen's eyes snapped to his and he turned bright red. "Don't give me that image! Don't! Don't do it!"

"Well? What would you do?"

"I— I, damn it, I would… I don't know! I'd leave! I wouldn't be able to handle that! It's too…" He waved his hands around in a way that obviously signified something very important but to Lavi mostly just made him look crazy. "I can't even _think _right now!"

"Well, you're going to have to." Lavi jerked his thumb back. "Food's ready. Come on, Allen~"

"M-maybe I'll eat in my room—"

"Not a chance. Come on."

Allen moaned to himself, drowning in self-pity. With Lavi's help, he reluctantly brought his many trays of food to where Lenalee was still holding a one-way conversation with Kanda, each step closer to the table as he followed Lavi's feet making his stomach tighten and shoulders hike up further. By the time they were at the table, he was as stiff as a board and bright red, trying not to look awkward but failing miserably because _damn it too much shit was happening_ and Allen really did suck at dealing with things like this. It wasn't like he had _experience_.

He was going to fuck up. He didn't know how, but he had this awful feeling he was going to mess this all up. A voice in his head pointed out that nothing could really go wrong, because there were really no reasons for Kanda to get mad at him right now, but Allen told it to shut up because he was nervous and he shouldn't be hearing voices in his head anyway.

"Oh, finally!" Lenalee chirped. "What took you guys so long?"

"Allen ordered so much food Jerry probably had to go to Asia and back just to get it all," Lavi said, sitting in front of Lenalee. He looked back at Allen, who was still standing there in miserable awkwardness and very pointedly not looking at Kanda, who was ignoring them as he ate his noodles. Since he wasn't leaving or screaming in disgust (which was really an absurd idea, because Kanda was not the screaming type, _oh damn it, Allen don't turn that into a dirty thought_) Allen supposed it wouldn't be so bad, and silently set his trays in the spot that Lavi (the demon) had left open. Right in front of Kanda. Allen didn't want to sit right in front of Kanda. It would be awkward because if he looked up he'd see Kanda and if he always looked elsewhere it would seem odd.

"Allen, aren't ya gonna sit?"

"Oh. Um." He snapped out of it. "Right," he said awkwardly, sitting down and avoiding looking Kanda's way. He did feel a gaze on him, though, so he tentatively looked up, somehow managing to nearly choke on his tongue when he saw Kanda staring at him.

"What?" he tried to sound annoyed but was sure he just sounded constipated. Lavi snickered.

Kanda looked a bit perturbed. "Correct me if I'm wrong, are you wearing a skirt?"

Allen tried to sink further under the table but stopped when he knocked knees with Kanda. He turned red up to the roots of his hair and stuttered out, "Um, yeah."

"…Why?" There was a crease between Kanda's eyebrows and he sort of looked like he was getting mad, but different. Allen didn't really want to know what was going through his mind right now.

"Well… I decided to take up cross-dressing as a new pastime," Allen said, sarcastically. Kanda just gave him a weird look.

"He's good at it, isn't he, Kanda?" Lenalee asked with a wide, sweet smile that Allen suspected was hiding the Devil.

"Uh…" Kanda seemed to struggle to find words, which was the weirdest thing Allen had ever seen in his sixteen years of life. Kanda always had some sort of snarky remark ready and as far as Allen knew, was _never_ at a loss for words. It became silent while Kanda just looked at Allen and Allen tried really hard to keep on his smile and not to die of awkwardness. Lavi and Lenalee were having silent fits of laughter to the side. Then Kanda cleared his throat and said, "Sure. Interesting choice for a hobby, bean sprout…"

A little giggle clawed its way out of Allen's mouth at the pure idiocy of the situation. Kanda's weirded-out look just got worse, like he was actually concerned for Allen's sanity. "Are you okay?" he asked in a low voice.

"No," Allen said matter-of-factly.

"…I see."

Allen popped a chicken nugget into his mouth. "Yup."

Lavi chuckled and said, "This is just what we made Allen do 'cause he lost that bet, Kanda. Don't look so disturbed."

"Yeah, we just traded clothes." Lenalee stood up. "See?"

Kanda didn't look any more reassured and just sat there looking uncomfortable, noodles forgotten. Lenalee's sweet smile turned a bit evil. "Why, what's wrong, Kanda? You don't look too good."

"Nothing," Kanda said curtly. He stood up and muttered, "I just remembered I have to go do some training today." He then quickly walked off, leaving his food, and Allen watched him go, half-relieved. Some of the tension left his shoulders and he noticed Kanda slap a hand to his nose just before rounding the corner. He wondered why. He turned to glare at Lavi.

"Well," he said sarcastically, "that went well."

"It did!" Lavi said excitedly. "You made Kanda lose face! Did you _see_ that?" he asked Lenalee, grinning widely. She nodded.

"Allen, this is awesome! I think you gave him a nosebleed!"

Allen was confused. "What? Why? He just _left_, in case you guys didn't notice. And no I didn't. He probably sneezed or something."

"Oh my god!" Lavi said exasperatedly. "You're nearly as dense as Kanda."

"What! I'm not!"

"Yeah, you're about as dense as him. You guys are so similar it's sad and it's kind of funny how you don't understand him. It's good that he left!"

Allen just didn't understand where Lavi was coming from and was beginning to get concerned about the redhead's state of mind. "Why?" he asked anxiously.

"Listen. If Kanda wasn't affected, do you really think he'd care enough to get up and leave? He's Kanda. He doesn't give a shit usually. Not to mention he left his soba. Kanda never leaves his soba. It just doesn't happen. He's as bad as you with food." When Allen didn't look convinced, Lavi rolled his eyes. "With what he said when he was drunk and how he just reacted, I think it's safe to say you've officially just gotten under Kanda's skin. And that's with just a small glimpse of your cute butt in that miniskirt."

"Lavi, are you talking out of your ass right now?" Allen asked apprehensively.

"No! I am one hundred percent sure!"

"I'm not," Allen muttered.

"I agree with Lavi," Lenalee said, smiling. "Here's the deal, Allen. You go and find Kanda after you're done eating and just, I don't know, talk to him or something, just be in his general field of sight, and see what happens. Even Kanda only has so much control."

Allen looked between his friends' confident smiles disbelievingly. "I don't think anything good will come of that," he said.

"Allen," they said at the same time.

"_Fine_," Allen said exasperatedly. "But when I die of awkwardness and my lifeless carcass is lying there on the floor in front of Kanda dancing and praising the Lord, I do expect you two to tell him this was _your_ idea."

"Don't be ridiculous," Lenalee said with a wave of her hand, "Kanda would never dance."

"Right, 'cause that makes everything better."

"So you'll do it?" Lavi asked with a wide smile.

Allen figured he was already beyond the level of maximum embarrassment, so what did he have to lose? Besides his life, of course? "Yes," he gave in, grimacing when Lavi and Lenalee cheered. "I'm going to regret this."

"Would you regret Kanda taking his sexual frustrations out on you?" Lavi asked smugly.

"Not really."

"Then you won't regret it."

Looking at Kanda's abandoned soba, Allen wasn't so sure. But then again, he'd been wrong before, and Kanda could be _very_ unpredictable. Whatever. He just hoped that he came out of it alive and with all parts of his body still attached.

**xxXXxxXXxx**

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: LEMONZ YOU SAY? DENIED! MUAAHAHAHAHHAHA!**

**MUAHAHAHAHHA!**

**Anyway. **

**This was gonna be just one chapter but I got lazy and decided to cut it again, since I was having trouble getting the rest of the chapter out and I'm sick and stuff. **

**Sorry about that, guys, and I hope this chapter isn't too disappointing. I like how Lavi is so certain about everything, and how Allen is having this mental breakdown, and the idea of drunk Kanda being a talker was too amusing for me to pass up. I hope you guys liked this chapter as much as you liked the last one. :) Hopefully next chapter I'll get you guys a good lemon in there.**

**Review? :3 **


	3. Chapter 3: Derp filler chapter is derp

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: Sorry for the long wait, guys, and thanks for the amazing feedback! I can't believe I got so many reviews in just two chapters! :'D Like jeez. 49? D: AWESOOOOOOOOME.**

**This is really just a filler chapter because absolutely nothing important happens in it and it's mostly just Lavi making fun of Allen.**

**xxXXxxXXxx**

Allen picked as slowly as possible at his food so he could put off seeing Kanda. He thought he was being rather stealthy about it by pretending to take a bite and doing chewing motions (but actually just dropping the food back on his plate when Lavi and Lenalee weren't paying attention). A glorious plan, if he did say so himself. He had never felt more proud of his quick thinking before.

That is, until he pretended to eat the same sandwich for the eighth time and Lenalee slammed her hands down on the table. "Wow," she said, her left eyebrow twitching. "That must be one _heck_ of a sandwich."

Allen blinked innocently like he had no idea what she was talking about even though he was screaming _Nooooooooooooo!_ on the inside. "What do you mean, Lenalee?"

"I _mean_," her eyes narrowed, "that if you had to eat it _eight times_, it must be freaking _delicious_."

A nervous little laugh escaped Allen. "Oh, am I? I hadn't noticed."

"Allen. Walker."

Allen's lips curled up into a nervous grin and he actually did take a bite of the sandwich this time. "Mhmm?"

"Eat your freaking food and _go. Find. Kanda._"

Jeez, Lenalee was scary. Allen was tempted to make a comment about PMS but thought better of it because he didn't really fancy the idea of getting his ass kicked by Lenalee with those boots. He heard Lavi chortle and turned his awkward grin his way.

"Well, maybe Allen's just watching his figure, Lenalee. He _is_ wearing a skirt after all. Wouldn't want to gain _too_ much weight."

Allen pretended not to hear this and sighed, putting the sandwich down. "Okay, fine. Yes, I'm procrastinating, but can you really blame me? Kanda is scary. Possibly-liking-me-back Kanda is fucking _terrifying. _I almost had an emotional breakdown when he was sitting here eating noodles and now you're expecting me to go— go _hang out_ with him wearing _this_—" He pointed angrily at the skirt, which was riding up rather high on his thighs, he noticed with embarrassment. "—and not freak out? Oh, hell no. I'm just trying to convince myself I can do it. You know. Man up, or whatever you wish to call it."

"Well," Lavi said, "we don't have the rest of the century, so try to speed it along, will you?"

Allen's glare may very well have been able to make the Kanda himself run away in tears. Well, maybe not, because Allen doubted Kanda had the emotional ability to cry. But anyways.

"What are you implying?" he asked darkly.

Lavi smirked at him and set his chin in his hand. "Just that you're more girly than Lenalee. I mean, you're wearing a skirt and you're eating copious amounts of food while moping over a boy you have a crush on. _Pret-ty_ girly if you ask me."

"I'm not a girl, you jerk!" When Lenalee frowned at him, he added, "There's nothing wrong with girls, Lenalee, but come on— That's just rude."

"Heh. Well, then grow a pair and go talk to Kanda. Maybe then I'll believe you."

"Sheesh, Allen," Lenalee said as she picked up a couple of his fries. She popped one into her mouth and pointed the other at him. "You act like you have to go talk to like, Tyki or something. It's just Kanda. He can be a big old teddy bear when he wants."

Allen gave her a look that said he very muchly doubted that, and that he was quite uncertain about her mental state. "Honestly? I'd rather talk to the Tyki in a miniskirt than talk to Kanda in a miniskirt. At least Tyki would just gape a bit and make perverted comments. I'm used to that." Allen glanced pointedly Lavi's way, then back at Lenalee. "Kanda, on the other hand, us just going to outright slaughter me."

"We discussed this," Lavi said boredly, snagging one of Allen's bowls of rice. Allen was becoming vaguely irritated that they were snacking on his food, but supposed it was really his fault for taking so long to eat. "Kanda won't kill you," Lavi continued as he struggled to hold the chopsticks properly then just gave up and used a fork. "If he killed you, he'd have to resort to necrophilia to get any, and as sadistic and demonic as he is… I don't really peg him as that type of guy."

Allen blushed. "What, do you think I'm just gonna automatically put out for him?"

Lavi just stared at him. "Well, duh. Come on. You can't tell me that if Kanda wanted to fuck you wouldn't spread your legs and beg for it."

Allen's blush spread down his cheeks and to his neck until his scar almost matched his skin. He didn't answer. That was _so_ not true. Well. Maybe it was a _little_ bit true, because Allen really had dreamt about that too many times to count— but he didn't want to hear it out loud like that. It made him sound like a horny little bitch. Which, if he thought about it, he sort of turned into whenever Kanda was around.

He really, really didn't want to think about this right now. Clearing his throat, he said curtly, "Fine. I'll do it."

"What? Spread your legs and—"

"No," Allen snapped, refusing to believe that his face got even hotter. "I mean I'm going to go find him and just talk to him. If he does something, then great. If not, then even better, and I can leave with my sanity."

"Oh, don't even give me that crap," Lavi teased. "You want this to end in hot, beautiful love-making as much as we do."

Allen finally couldn't take it anymore and flipped, throwing the nearest item of food— a piece of chocolate cake— at Lavi's face. He felt a deep sense of satisfaction when Lavi yelped as the cake squished onto his face and icing drooped down his nose and eyepatch, falling with a muted plop onto his white pants. Breathing heavily through his nose and probably looking like a demonic possessed bull, Allen lowered his arm and grabbed his sandwich and took a bite in an attempt to break out of Dark Allen mode and back into Normal Allen mode.

Lenalee was staring at him in shock. "Allen, are you okay?"

Allen looked again at the cake covering Lavi's face. He smiled. "I'm great," he said.

"Are you feeling better now?" Lavi asked casually, reaching over to grab a napkin. He began wiping at his face. "By the way, if you're going to throw something at my face because I'm pissing you off, might I suggest using something that isn't yummy?" He scooped some blue icing onto his finger and licked it off. "Because this isn't so bad, really."

Allen's eyebrow twitched. "The icing stains," he said.

At that, Lavi looked concerned. "You're kidding."

"Nope," Allen said flatly.

"So I'm gonna look like a smurf?"

"Probably for the next three days, I'd say."

It was silent for a moment as Lavi stared in horror at Allen and Allen just glared back. Lenalee looked sort of awkward, but that didn't last long because after a few seconds, both Lavi and Allen dissolved into a fit of uncontrollable laughter that had her looking rather lost.

"Guys?" she said timidly, but they just kept laughing.

Eventually, their unexplainable laughter faded to snickers, and Lavi grinned through a blue-stained face at Allen. "I guess I had that coming," he said.

"Yeah," Allen agreed. "You really did. Sorry I threw the cake at you, though. That icing really likes to stain things."

"Nah, that's okay. I'll make a sexy smurf. Right Lenalee?"

Lenalee was still a bit lost, but she seemed to be resigned to the fact that she'd never understand men. "Right," she said.

Allen let out a long sigh, then, and glanced at Kanda's abandoned soba again. "Well, you guys are right. I guess I'm just a bit nervous."

"A bit?" Lavi muttered.

"Okay, a lot," Allen admitted. "But it's not like I have anything to lose, right? You guys said that Kanda— that I do have a chance. So… I guess it couldn't _hurt_…" Although he still sort of suspected this was going to end terribly… But that was probably the paranoid side of him talking, so he forced it to the back of his mind and smiled at them in a way that was more confident than he felt. "I'll do it."

"Great!" Lenalee bubbled. "I know you won't believe me, but Kanda can be really affectionate behind closed doors. When he knows no one is watching. It's— well, it's nothing huge, but he's sweet in his own way."

The way Lenalee said it made something go off in the back of Allen's mind. "Just how close are you to Kanda?"

"Well, we're friends, but we went out for a little while a few years back."

Allen's jaw dropped. "Seriously?" he asked, resenting the little prickly of jealousy in his stomach. He wondered why Lavi didn't even look the least bothered by this, and then remembered that it was Lavi and he was kind of an idiot. Plus, he probably already knew about this. Allen really didn't like feeling so out of the loop.

"Yeah." Lenalee waved a hand at him. "Don't be mad or anything. Obviously, it didn't work out. We're much better as friends, anyways. But I can tell you for sure that Kanda _can _be affectionate." She raised her eyebrows. "Then again, you guys… well, you're you. He might be a bit more… you know, not so affectionate. But that doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings for you! Kanda's just… Kanda."

Allen agreed with that; there wasn't much of a better way to describe him. "Plus," Lavi added, drawing Allen's attention, "what's love without a little bit of pain, right?"

For some reason, this made Allen smile. Maybe it was because the phrase was so befitting for someone like Kanda— Allen really did doubt that if they were together things would change. They would still fight and argue and occasionally wish for the other's imminent demise, but he found that he really didn't have a problem with that. "You're right. Okay, I'll do it."

"Really?" Lenalee asked excitedly, cheering when he nodded. "Yay! I'm so happy, Allen, I promise this'll turn out great!"

Allen just smiled because he wasn't all that sure. "Just let me finish eating."

"Are you actually going to eat this time?"

"Yes Lavi, shut up."

A few minutes later, Allen was finished his food. It hadn't taken long thanks to his horrible table etiquette. Lenalee was giving him a slightly horrified look (honestly, Allen thought, you'd think she'd be used to it by now) as he stood up, stacking the last bowl on the pile of dishes adorning the table.

"So, there's one more thing I want to do before I have to go find my imminent doom. I mean, Kanda."

Lenalee rolled her eyes, but asked, "What's that?"

"I have to grab some food or something that Kanda likes. I don't want to go to him empty-handed. If I have some form of food then at least I have an excuse," Allen reasoned. Lenalee nodded thoughtfully.

"That's a good idea, actually. Butter him up."

"That's kind of a creepy analogy," Lavi mumbled. "It makes me imagine Kanda as a toast. He'd be a weird toast."

Allen and Lenalee shared a WTF look, and Allen cleared his throat. "Right. Well, um… Lenalee, you know Kanda better than we do. What does he like?" He looked at her expectantly. Lenalee seemed very excited that Allen had made a turnaround and was actually co-operating now.

"Well, we all know he likes tempura and soba, but it would be pointless to bring him that since he was just eating it."

"And he doesn't like sweet things," Lavi piped up. "Except for once, I made hot chocolate and offered him a cup and he took it. He complained a lot but he still drank it, which in Kanda-language means he liked it."

Allen nodded thoughtfully. "Alright… what else?"

"Let me think…" Lenalee murmured, a crease appearing between her eyebrows. "Ah!" Her eyes lit up. "Tea. Kanda likes tea."

"Tea?" Allen looked amused. "Really?"

"Yeah, what's wrong with that?"

"It's just… tea. It's such a calm, soothing drink. And then there's Kanda."

"He's rather level-headed when nothing is pissing him off," Lavi said. "Not that I've ever gotten to experience that…"

"Me neither. Must be nice."

"It's kind of weird," Lenalee said, shrugging. "But anyways, Allen, Jerry has tea so you could just ask him to prepare a cup."

"I'm not much of a tea person, though… I wouldn't know what kind to ask for."

"_Ryokucha_."

"What what?"

"_Ryokucha_," Lenalee repeated. "It's the most commonly consumed tea in Japan— I'm sure Jerry has some. Kanda drinks it sometimes when we meditate together."

"Huh. Really. Well, I'll bring him that, then."

Lenalee nodded, a wide grin suddenly splitting her face. "I'm so proud of you, Allen!" she exclaimed, tackling him into a hug. "You're so sweet. You know, Kanda doesn't show it often, but he really does appreciate little gestures like this."

Allen laughed, patting Lenalee's back somewhat awkwardly and giving Lavi a sort of 'Help me' look because he really wasn't used to a bundle of happy girl hugging him like this. Lavi just grinned and shrugged. When Lenalee finally pulled back, Allen grinned a bit nervously.

"Really, I'm mostly trying to sugar coat the fact that it's _me_ bringing him tea," he admitted. "Do you think he'll even drink it?"

"Most likely. If not in front of you, then he will when he's alone." Lavi smiled in a mischievous way. "Then, when he's drinking it, he'll think, 'Oh, the bean sprout brought this for me' and then he'll think about you. Which is definitely a good thing. If you can't get him right away, then at least he'll have you on his mind."

Allen still found it weird that they were discussing this whole thing like he was planning to go and approach a dangerous animal that needed to be trained and not a cranky Japanese exorcist. He then thought that there wasn't actually much of a difference. "That's true," he said, feeling all warm and tingly at the thought of Kanda thinking about him. The idea was nice— Allen certainly thought about Kanda enough. It would be nice if Kanda did the same. "Kanda said he had training to do, right?"

"He was just saying that to get away," Lavi pointed out. "But I wouldn't doubt it. Kanda tends to take his frustrations out through physical means, so I don't see why sexual frustrations would be any different." Allen blushed at this. "Knowing him, he'll probably be there for a few hours, and no one ever dares to go in there when he's training 'cause everyone's scared shitless of him. So you two will be alone."

A mysterious smile played on Lenalee's lips. "Completely alone. So you don't have to worry about anyone walking in, Allen."

They were both smiling at him suggestively and Allen began feeling really awkward again, his face reddening. "Um, I get it," he said quietly. "We'll be alone. Great." He twirled his finger in the air next to his head in a mock 'yippee' motion. "No one to hear if I scream for help."

"No one to hear if you scream for _more_," Lavi countered with a smirk.

"Ooooookay," Allen said loudly, not wanting to go onto that topic. He stood up, ignoring Lavi's snicker when he tugged down the skirt a bit because it was a bit too high for his comfort. He was sort of beginning to get used to it, though. "I'm leaving. Tell Timcanpy he can have the pocky in my night table drawer just in case I die and don't ever get to see him again."

Lenalee rolled her eyes. "You'll be fine. Just go."

"Oh, and," Lavi added with a Cheshire grin, "don't forget to tell us what happens, okay?~"

On that note, Allen turned bright red and walked off, ignoring the stares he was getting from the finders at a nearby table, and set his jaw. He could do this. He could. He'd order that goddamn tea.

He'd go find goddamn Kanda.

And he'd give him the goddamn tea.

Yes.

He kept repeating this to himself as mantra and walked out of the cafeteria with Kanda's green tea with as much dignity as a teenaged boy wearing a miniskirt could possibly have.

**xxXXxxXXxx**

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: Derp derp herp, silly filler chapter is silly.**

**So if I have any luck, **_**next**_** chapter will be some sexytiemz. Sorry. I know some people are like OMG, YOU ASSHOLE. JUST WRITE THE FUCKING SMUT ALREADY. Well, sorry. :c I'm having a hard time writing it!**

**Anyways, thanks for reading guys! I'll finish the next chapter as soon as I can!**


	4. Chapter 4: Still no lemon, trololo sorry

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: This took forever! And uh… still… no lemon…**

***hides behind trashbin to avoid incoming tomatoes being thrown***

**I'm sorry! Smut is so hard to write lately so I'm procrastinating! That's what happens when you start favouring subtlety I guess. :/ Next chapter, I have no choice but to make it a lemon. Hopefully it doesn't take half a year.**

**xxXXxxXXxx**

Okay, Allen was usually a pretty patient guy, but this was getting ridiculous. Quickly growing frustrated, he let out a growl under his breath and lightly banged his forehead against the door to the last training room. "I thought he said he'd be here," he muttered to himself, letting out a long sigh. He had checked all the rooms on the training floor, and while some of them _did _have exorcists and the like doing mock-battles and training with wooden dummies, they were all lacking in the resident foul-mouthed bitchy samurai Allen was looking for.

"Fuck you, Kanda," he cursed softly, once again banging his head against the door. He supposed that he would probably look like he'd escaped an asylum to a passer-by –he was, after all, standing there muttering to himself, wearing a miniskirt, hitting his head on the door and holding a little teacup. He couldn't find it in himself to give the slightest of fucks. He had long given up on that.

For another moment, he stood there holding the tea and looking like a lunatic, unsure of what to do now. He'd gone through all of this and Kanda, the jerk, was nowhere to be found.

Well, maybe that was a good thing! Then, he could save himself from death by awkwardness and deal with Kanda on a day where he wasn't wearing a miniskirt.

No, no. No. He _said_ he'd do it and he was going to keep that promise— he wouldn't back down now, not when he'd been so determined earlier. Plus, he _did_ sort of have a good feeling about this whole ordeal, buried underneath all of his anxieties and worries. If everything Lavi and Lenalee had told him was true— and he saw no reason for them to lie— then Kanda _did_… _maybe, just maybe_, have feelings for him. He just had major issues admitting it and knowing how to deal with it. While Allen still didn't really peg Kanda as the whole lovey-type (and thank God, he didn't think he'd be able to deal if Kanda spontaneously twirled him in his arms and whisked him away into the sunset), Allen reminded himself that Kanda _had_ run away earlier, when he'd first seen Allen wearing this… this awful outfit. And Kanda wasn't the type to run away, Allen knew. Hell, Kanda was the one who was always so stubborn about _not_ leaving until everything that needed to be done was completed to his definition of perfection.

So, that must mean _something_, right? If not love— God, Allen had a hard time thinking of the word 'love' and 'Kanda' in the same sentence without feeling all weirded out— then at least that Kanda didn't hate him like he used to. Allen already knew they'd progressed to a friendlier sort of relationship, meaning that they only tried to kill each other every other time instead of _every _time, and sometimes, if they were lucky, could even eat a meal together and exchange words without getting at each other's throats. So maybe… just maybe.

It had to mean something!

Oh, damn it. Allen was giving himself a headache. He really had an awful tendency to overthink things.

He decided to focus on the situation at hand before Kanda's tea got cold and this all became pointless. He wracked his brain for a moment, the cool of the training room's metal door helping him think. Where else would Kanda be? Like Lavi had said, Kanda had left angry, so the best bet was that he was off somewhere doing something that involved destroying things. Like training. But if he wasn't in the rooms…

Suddenly, Allen had an idea. Kanda had gone and practiced with his katana in the woods before, he remembered, and he knew because once or twice Komui had asked him to go and fetch Kanda for mission debriefings.

Muttering to himself about Kanda's troublesomeness, he turned and headed the opposite way. When he reached the back doors, he bumped one open with his hip and poked his head outside. It was a cool day, the clouds passing over the sun and a lack of wind causing the small patch of forest outside the Order to be eerily quiet. Aside from birds chirping and just the slightest whisper of leaves rustling in the faint breeze and a faint trickle from a stream somewhere beyond the thick-trunked trees, Allen couldn't hear anything.

Kanda liked quiet, Allen knew, and he also appreciated nature. The small patch of forest seemed to be cut off from the hectic, war-plagued life they led inside the Order's walls, closing whoever walked in off from the world outside. Allen smiled to himself, a lot more confident now that this was where Kanda had gone to escape from whatever had metaphorically pissed in his cereal. Or soba, since he really couldn't see Kanda eating cereal.

He walked into the forest, taking a moment to look around as he wandered deeper in— it really was nice out here, he thought. It was peaceful and quiet and calming and everything that was not Kanda. He tried not to make too much noise as he walked and walked, not with the intent of scaring Kanda (which he doubted was possible anyway) but because he didn't want the Japanese to mistake him for a wild animal or something and with Allen's luck, attack him on the spot.

In the near distance he could see the trees thinning and could hear the babbling of a creek winding through the roots and trunks and mosses to a small clearing. He approached the edge, vaguely able to sense another life— It wasn't anything strong, just that nagging feeling that he wasn't completely alone— and sure enough, spotted Kanda sitting next to a fallen tree, his back to Allen and toes just barely dipping into the creek, which formed a sort of pool in the furthermost part of the clearing. Allen stood there for a moment, enthralled with Kanda's beauty— he didn't let himself think that very often, but really, Kanda _was_ beautiful.

His hair was down, falling in messy black strands against his white skin. He seemed to have abandoned his coat and boots and sat cross-legged in his pants and muscle shirt, and from what Allen could see, was more relaxed and less wired up than usual. So he was meditating.

Allen tittered at the edge of the clearing uncertainly for a moment, knowing that Kanda wouldn't want to be interrupted for tea, especially not by _him_, but couldn't make himself do anything.

Then he heard Kanda say, "If you're trying to be quiet, you suck."

Allen was almost startled, and then he realized that Kanda had opened his eyes and was scowling at him over his shoulder. "Oh," he said, letting out a little nervous laugh that just made him feel even more awkward because Kanda simply raised an eyebrow at him. "I… uh, sorry… I didn't mean to—"

"What do you want?" Kanda interrupted curtly, swiftly turning his head back forward and returning to his meditating position. He looked tense this time, Allen noticed, not at all relaxed like he had been earlier. He almost felt guilty, but the nagging irritation at Kanda's ever-present rudeness cancelled it out.

"I brought you tea," he said indignantly, walking over and ignoring the narrow-eyed, guarded look Kanda gave him. He sat down next to him, but left enough space so that Kanda wouldn't have an excuse to move or leave, and shoved the tea at the Asian while muttering, "The least you could do is not be a jerk."

He nearly had a heart attack when Kanda's fingers brushed his as he took the cup, and jerked his hand away instinctively. Kanda gave him an odd look, but Allen ignored it and rolled his eyes when he saw Kanda looking down at the tea in his hands with suspicion in his slanted eyes.

"It's not poisoned."

"I never implied that it was," Kanda shot back coolly, raising the cup and taking a small sip. Allen watched out of the corner of his eye as Kanda's eyebrows furrowed as he took another sip. Kanda didn't look all that pleased (but really, did he ever?), however Allen supposed that since Kanda wasn't bitching at him and throwing the cup to the ground that Kanda liked it. It made a small flutter happen in his stomach and he had to turn his head to hide a smile.

"How'd you know?" Kanda's voice drew his attention. He looked back over, forcing himself not to flush when he saw Kanda staring right at him with an expression devoid of any dislike, for once. Instead, he just looked somewhat suspicious.

"Know what?"

"That this is the tea I drink."

Allen smiled a bit. "Lenalee."

"Tch. Damn woman is too troublesome."

"Why's that?"

"She cares too much." Kanda took another sip.

"There's nothing wrong with that," Allen said a bit defensively. "Caring about things is a part of life."

"Caring for things is a weakness." Kanda's deep voice was calm.

"How? I think it makes you stronger, because then you have something to fight for. You can't tell me that there's honestly nothing you care about, Kanda. You _are_ human."

Kanda chose not to answer and instead curtly responded, "It makes you weak because it gives your enemy something to hurt you with."

Allen supposed Kanda did have a point there. "But there's more to it than that," he said, vaguely thinking it strange that he was actually having a real conversation with Kanda without any swearing or maiming involved. "It does give your enemy something to hurt you with, but that makes you want to protect it even more so that you never have to deal with losing it." His heart ached as he thought about everything he'd lost and his will to keep walking and never let himself lose anything precious to him again.

It seemed that Kanda had nothing to say to that, and it became quiet between them. Allen wouldn't say it was an uncomfortable silence— birds sang and the creek babbled in the background, Kanda sipped silently at his tea and Allen watched their rippling reflections in the water. Something was still nagging at him though, and he knew Kanda would probably get annoyed if he asked, but he was too curious to let it go.

"So _is_ there anything you care about?" he asked, bringing his knees to his chest and resting his cheek on them as he looked over at Kanda. Kanda looked vaguely irritated, as he expected, but surprisingly, didn't ignore him.

"Of course," he said simply.

"Like… like what?"

Kanda gave him a long stare, and for a moment, Allen's mouth felt dry and his heart was pounding because there was something about the way Kanda was looking at him that was different than normal, and he couldn't bring himself to look away from those dark eyes as something inexplicable settled in the air around them. And then Kanda broke their gaze and looked off to the side, his expression guarded again.

"That's none of your business."

Allen felt that he wouldn't get any more out of him, and so he let it drop at that, feeling a warm feeling inside that he was actually _talking_ to Kanda and that they were actually getting along. His heart was still pounding from that weird look they'd shared earlier. _What the hell just happened?_

Maybe Lenalee and Lavi were right— this wasn't so bad, after all. Of course, Kanda hadn't made any moves to jump Allen yet (which honestly, Allen hadn't really been expecting in the first place), but he still had a rather tense atmosphere about him. He kind of wanted to do something to test Kanda's boundaries, but didn't want to destroy whatever peacefulness they had right now, so he continued to sit there silently. Especially after whatever had happened between them. He— well, he didn't know what it was, but it was something.

He noticed Kanda's eyebrow twitch a few times, and just barely saw the slight uncomfortable squirm that the samurai did. Allen couldn't begin to guess what was irritating Kanda now, and turned to give him an annoyed look. "What?"

"Allen."

"Uhm." A bit taken aback by the use of his name, Allen just stared. "Yeah?"

"Fix…your skirt…"

"What?" Allen asked blankly, even more startled by the odd strained tone of Kanda's voice.

Kanda was glaring at him. "Your _skirt. Fix it._"

Allen looked down at himself and nearly died— damn it, he hadn't realized it earlier, but when he'd put his knees up to his chest, he'd _somehow_ managed to make the skirt bunch up around his thighs and flash part of his underwear for the world to see. And by the world, he really meant Kanda, who was still glaring daggers at him. Whatever had been happening between them shattered as Allen 'eep'ed and hastily shot his legs out, yanking the skirt back to its proper place in the middle of his thighs.

"Crap," he squeaked, his face feeling so warm he bet he could put it in the creek and make it boil. "Gosh— I'm sorry, Kanda, I—"

"Moyashi… you should probably go."

Allen was startled again, and even a bit hurt even though it was Kanda and he should really be used to his rudeness by now. "Why?" he asked, somewhat indignantly. "I just _apologized_—"

"It's not that." Kanda wasn't looking at him and had a tic in his jaw, his fingers curled tight around the teacup. "Just go."

Allen felt his Kanda-temper (which is what he had mentally dubbed the flare of passionate anger he felt whenever Kanda pissed him off) rear its head and tersely said, "Not until you tell me what the hell I did to piss you off this time."

"Nothing."

Allen felt his jaw drop in disbelief. "What the hell, Kanda?"

Kanda just glared at him. "I can only spend so much time in your company before going insane, bean sprout, so just leave."

Allen hesitated; there was a strange sort of desperation in Kanda's tone, a sort of strangled-sounding anger that led Allen to believe that there really was something that was making Kanda act like this all of a sudden. For a long moment, he met Kanda's glare with one of his own, then defiantly said, "No. It's a free country, I can sit wherever I want." With that, he stubbornly looked towards the trees as if he was actually appreciating the scenery instead of being annoyed and purposely riling Kanda up.

"I was here first, moron, fuck off."

"No. If you have a problem with my being here, then why don't _you_?"

"Because I was here first. Like I said."

"That's bullshit. It's a free country. Like _I_ said."

"Oh for fuck's sakes, bean sprout, do you find it necessary to be a pain in the ass _all_ the time?"

"Why yes." Allen kept glaring. "Yes I do."

It became silent again as that electric current of anger cackled through them and they glared at each other. After a few minutes, Kanda let out his annoyed 'tch' sound and turned his head, jaw clenched visibly. "Fine."

Allen raised a suspicious eyebrow. It was almost like Kanda was trying very hard not to snap. Allen wondered that was about; usually Kanda had no problem with snapping and shoving Allen into the nearest surface and making death threats towards his life. Secretly, Allen liked these times, because after all they were generally in very close proximity even if the only reason for that was that they were fighting.

But he didn't need to be thinking about that right now. Kanda seemed to have taken to ignoring him instead of arguing further, and for some reason, Allen became quite inexplicably nervous. It was almost as bad as earlier. Still, after their little argument, he was still a bit touchy and angry, so he just said, "Fine, I'll go then, since you're just ignoring me now." He glared at the nearly-empty cup in Kanda's slender hands as if it was all its fault this was happening. "I go out of my way to bring you tea and you decide to be a jerk about it. Typical, I guess." He stood and turned on his heel. "I'll leave you alone, then."

He began to storm off then, his heart pounding with all sorts of irrational emotions like anger and confusion— why was Kanda so fucking _unpredictable_?— when he felt fingers wrap around his elbow and jerk him back. Allen stumbled and his back connected with something very solid. He looked back and his heart nearly jumped right out of his chest when he saw Kanda standing right behind him. Allen wanted to be angry, but was too shocked to see how dark Kanda's eyes were. He couldn't even see any blue-gray. They were almost completely black. And they were very, very angry. He swallowed, desperately trying to grasp the situation but mostly freaking out because _Kanda was way too close._

"Um." He tried to pull his arm away. He was quite proud of himself for keeping his voice strong, though. "Kanda."

Kanda shut his eyes and took a deep breath, then let it go, slowly, clearly trying very hard to compose himself. Allen shivered involuntarily and tried to tug away again, not that it did any good— Kanda had a pretty firm grip around his wrist. For a short moment, they stood there, Allen feeling nervous and his heart pounding up in his throat because he was so _confused_ and Kanda just looking like he was trying his very hardest not to murder Allen right there. Allen honestly had no idea what was going on.

Then Kanda opened his eyes. "Fight me," he said.

Allen was startled. "Um, what?"

"I said fight me." Suddenly, Allen felt pain bloom across his left cheekbone and reared back in shock, eyes widening when Kanda raised his other fist. He was about to demand what the hell Kanda's sudden problem was when Kanda breathed in a dangerous voice, "Are you fucking deaf? I said _fight me_, or are you just going to stand there and take it?"

Allen was still completely lost, but his confused look twisted into a hardened glare. Fine. He didn't understand what this was all about, but he felt strangely comforted by the fact that the interaction between them had returned to normal. If Kanda wanted a fight, he'd get one.

He roughly tore his wrist free and used Kanda's moment of surprise to shove him back and send a sharp kick upwards. It probably would have landed a solid hit square on Kanda's jaw and have been enough to knock him out if Kanda hadn't twisted at the last moment and grabbed Allen's ankle. Allen barely had time to blink before Kanda sneered and sent him flying backwards. He landed on the ground painfully and nearly bit his tongue off, wiping his mouth free of the blood that had begun to drip from Kanda's first punch.

Before he could move, Kanda was on top of him, throwing hits down like a rainfall and rendering Allen nearly completely immovable in the position he was uncomfortably held down in. The albino felt his temper spike and let out a growl, quickly moving his arm to block Kanda's next punch, raising his knees to his next, planting his feet on Kanda's chest and using all the strength in his legs to kick Kanda off of him. Kanda reared back, cursing.

Adrenaline coursed through Allen's veins and when he saw Kanda recover and a fist flying at his face, he moved without thinking. Pressing his palms flat to the ground, he heaved himself upwards and did a backflip, landing in a crouching position in front of Kanda. Before he had a chance to react, Allen shot his leg out knocked his feet out from underneath him, darting quickly to the side to avoid getting squished.

Kanda landed hard on the dirt with a growled "Fuck!" and Allen scrambled to his feet, planting one boot on Kanda's chest before he managed to get back up. Kanda's eyes narrowed up at him in a venomous glare, but it disappeared a second later and returned to that tense look he'd had earlier, with a hint of panic now.

Allen didn't notice this, too pumped with adrenaline and the thrill of a fight. Panting slightly, he let a wide, smug smirk curl his lips. "I win."

When Kanda didn't sneer back at him or try to attack him more, Allen paused, that being enough to deter him from his victory. Kanda was looking up at him with a strange look, and his face was dusted with a suspicious dark red flush— nothing like the faint pink from the fight. He seemed to struggle for words for a few seconds, then quickly snapped his eyes away and pressed his lips into a thin line. There was that look of strained resistance on his face again. Just then, something occurred to Allen.

He looked down at himself and suddenly remembered that he was wearing a skirt. And the way he was standing, Kanda was able to see right up it.

Aw, crap.

He nearly died.

"Oh," he breathed, embarrassment flooding his cheeks. Kanda was still glaring off to the side, but he was grinding his teeth now, looking more and more pissed off by the second. Allen quickly stepped back, stuttering something like an apology (though he wasn't really sure why). He felt pressure on the back of his knees and barely had time to register that Kanda was moving again before he buckled and landed painfully on his back, his head hitting the hard ground.

Fireworks exploded in his vision and for a moment, he couldn't see, raising a hand to his head in an attempt to ward off the throbbing. He struggled to get up, expecting another fight, but felt pressure on his stomach pinning him down. Finally, his vision cleared, and his breath caught upon seeing a very, very angry Kanda sitting atop him, glaring down at him with those impossibly dark eyes.

In a moment of blind panic, Allen tried to shove Kanda off and get up and quite possibly run away and die, but Kanda grabbed his wrists and pinned him down. Allen swallowed hard, his heart in his throat. He could taste blood from the cut on his mouth and licked his lips nervously. Kanda's eyes followed his tongue. Allen quickly hid it behind his cut lip.

"Kanda?" he said quietly, trying desperately not to blush and to stop his body from reacting at their position. He squirmed a bit, and when he found the most uncomfortable position, stayed that way, hoping the discomfort would help distract him from the very angry and very sexy Kanda sitting on him. It didn't. He groaned.

"Kaaaaaaaandaaaaaaaaa," he repeated agitatedly.

"You… fucking _idiot_," Kanda was hissing at him, teeth clenched and eyes narrowed to slits. His hair fell like a veil around them and Allen had to try very hard not to moan out loud at the soft scent of mint and soba and _Kanda_ that billowed softly in the air around them, mixing with the clean, crisp scent of the forest and making Allen's head spin. Allen found that Kanda's scent was very, _very_ addicting. He was about to have a nervous breakdown and was probably going to start screeching like a banshee if Kanda didn't _do something_ other than sit there looking frustrated and growl things under his breath.

Allen decided to attempt to make Kanda move. "Kanda, you know, this is kind of awkward—"

"Shut the fuck up for a second," Kanda snapped, fingers tightening almost painfully around Allen's wrists. He was shaking. Allen was really quite confused, so of course, being himself, he didn't shut up.

"Are you okay? You're acting weird." Allen shifted a bit, the awkward way his back was pressed to the lumpy dirt beginning to get too uncomfortable. Clearly, he hadn't thought this through first, because by doing so he accidentally raised his hips and rubbed them against Kanda's. A startled gasp at the sudden friction escaped him before he could stop it and his eyes widened in horror, embarrassment flooding his cheeks. He had been trying _so hard_ to fight it, but now it seemed he couldn't stop his blood flowing down to a certain area that was no pressed rather inconveniently against Kanda's thigh, and he was wearing a fucking _skirt_ so he couldn't even hide it.

Oh God.

Oh fucking God and all that was holy, Allen wanted to die.

He was trying really hard not to look at Kanda. Really. But his eyes seemed to be huge fucking traitors to the little self-dignity he had left, and hesitantly lifted to Kanda's face. Kanda's eyes were wired shut and his cheeks were reddening and he looked like he was about to start punching Allen in the face again.

Tentatively, Allen moved his hips up again, trying to make it look like an accident. He just wanted to see Kanda's reaction this time. Kanda opened his eyes, then, and something seemed to change.

Allen felt a bit nervous about the look in Kanda's cobalt eyes. "What?"

"…Damn you."

"What?" Allen repeated blankly. "Why?"

"I give up."

Well, those were three words Allen had never thought he'd hear from Kanda, ever. His heart was beating too fast. "You give up?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. Um, okay." Allen chewed on his lip. "Wait, what are you giving up on?"

"Do you have any fucking idea how hard it is not to press you to the nearest surface at _every waking second of the fucking day_ and fuck your brains out?" Kanda snapped suddenly, making Allen squeak in surprise. "Do you know how much self-control that takes? How hard it is to stop myself from just fucking doing all of that— All of those things that—"Allen couldn't decide if Kanda looked furious or lascivious, and decided it was an extremely unnerving mixture of both. "_This_ is why I hate you so fucking bad— I can't _take _it anymore, I fucking have things I need to do and you're just there, always being so fucking _irritating_ and I just want to—" He abruptly stopped, seeming to snap back into himself, eyes widening as his own words registered in his head. Allen could feel Kanda's pulse in his palms wrapped around his mismatched wrists, and its speed made his quicken too. There it was. That was exactly what Lavi had been telling him about.

"Then do it," he said steadily despite how hard his heart was beating and the nervous, excited fluttering in his stomach.

Kanda seemed surprised. "What did you say?"

Feeling a bit more confident now, Allen looked right into Kanda's eyes. "Well," he said slowly, deliberately glancing at Kanda's fingers trapping his wrists to the ground, "you _said_ you wanted to press me to the nearest surface and fuck my brains out… right?" When Kanda continued staring at him in that shocked way, he managed a sideways grin. "You already have me pinned down to the nearest surface…"

He then thought vaguely that Kanda looked really funny all wide-eyed and startled like this. His grin widened and he managed to wriggle his wrists out of Kanda's loosening grasp, reaching up to brush his fingers along the delicate curve of the other's jaw. Kanda seemed to be holding his breath and visibly repressed a shudder, making Allen's already butterfly-ridden stomach warm up. It occurred to him that Kanda really was bipolar; not two minutes ago, he'd been ready to kill someone, and how, he was acting like this— like he couldn't believe what was happening.

"You… you really want—"

"Is it that hard to believe?" Allen asked, moving his hips slightly against Kanda's leg. He flushed at the friction and his own bold move, but said, "You… can feel me, can't you?"

"Yeah," Kanda said, Adam's apple bobbing. "I just… I thought you hated me—"

"Well, I thought _you_ hated _me_," Allen pointed out, moving his hand from Kanda's jaw to the curtain of hair falling between them and running his fingers through it, making Kanda twitch slightly when his fingers tugged at knots. Apparently, his hair was a weak spot. Allen only grinned even wider. "It seems we were both wrong, huh?" he asked in a wry way, running his fingers down another strand of soft hair.

Kanda just stared at him for another moment, but eventually his eyes started to soften and his face relaxed, his lips curving up ever so slightly at the sides. "I guess so," he said quietly, carefully avoiding Allen's eyes. It was really cute, if Allen did say so himself, and somehow managed to be very sexy. Allen didn't understand how. He supposed it was just Kanda. Kanda was just generally sexy, even when he was all weird and out of character and kind of freaking Allen out like this.

"Sooo," he said casually, his grin turning a bit mischievous, "how 'bout we finish that whole pin me down and fuck me thing, hm?"

And just like that, Kanda snapped back into himself, his vulnerable look gone and replaced with a grin Allen had only ever seen on the battlefield— the one that clearly said _I'm going to fuck you up so bad you won't even have the strength to scream for mercy and I'm going to love every second of it. _

"Yeah," he said, leaning down to meet Allen's grinning mouth halfway. "For once, I agree with you, bean sprout."

**xxXXxxXXxx**

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: I am the worst kind of person. I cut this off at such a horrible place. I accept any death wishes with open arms.**

**(Seriously, I would have posted a complete lemon, but I don't know how long that is going to take and I haven't updated this in forever!)**

**Sorry that this chapter isn't my best work, but I've had a lot of stress around home and school lately and my writing is suffering. I gave it my best, though! :) **


	5. Chapter 5: GUYS I FINALLY DID IT

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: Wooooooo… I got a lot of crap last chapter for cutting off that lemon. Ah, I was expecting it. I've done that before, and people generally ended up wanting to kill me. Heh. Sorry. Oh well, here is the rest of it, twenty years later. Like I said, I've been having a hard time writing lemons lately, so hopefully it isn't too disappointing. I think it's **_**okay**_**… considering how hard it was to write. I hope you guys enjoy… Sorry for any errors, I probably missed some.**

**xxXXxxXXxx**

Allen didn't know how long they had been laying there, their mouths glued together and tongues tangling in a hot, slick dance that left him breathless and had small moans melting like sweet chocolate from his mouth into Kanda's. It was quiet, birds chirping and the water babbling around them, that and the wet sounds of their kiss creating a peaceful, wonderful atmosphere that had Allen's heart pounding and his entire body burning with emotions he didn't even know were possible. He couldn't remember feeling this content for a long time.

Their uneven, heavy breathing mingled, and Allen's lungs were burning so bad because it was hard to remember to breathe while Kanda was kissing him like this. He didn't really care, though— he was kissing _Kanda_. It was something he had wanted to do for so long and now that it was happening, he didn't want it to end, even for a second. Even if it meant passing out from lack of oxygen in the process.

Kanda, however, didn't seem so keen on the idea of passing out; he pulled away, panting slightly, and their eyes met for a moment. Allen wasn't sure what to make of the… well, he couldn't find a way to describe it other than some sort of current of emotion, something that made him really glad he was lying down because his limbs suddenly felt like jelly. For a moment, it hung there as they just looked into each other's eyes wordlessly, Allen into black, black eyes that he had never seen looking so intense and Kanda into dilated, molten steel ones. Licking his lips nervously, Allen broke the gaze, a heavy lump in his throat like his heart had jumped up there. Kanda seemed to snap back into himself, too, and looked unnerved for a moment. He covered that by quickly ducking his head and burying it into the crook of Allen's neck, a low moan sounding in Allen's throat as he squirmed slightly on the forest ground.

"Kanda…" His voice was husky and breathless, and he didn't miss the way Kanda shuddered against him. The swordsman murmured something, but Allen didn't quite catch it. "What?"

"I said… use my name. My given name." Kanda looked almost tentatively up at him, and Allen melted a bit. He tried to fight a smile, but failed, and his lips curved up slightly at the corners.

"Okay… Yuu." Allen's smile widened. "Good?"

"Good," Kanda muttered, ducking his head again. Allen didn't miss the slight flush on Kanda's cheeks and giggled a bit, but his amusement was cut short by a gasp when Kanda bit down on his pulse point, hard enough to hurt but still make little sparks jolt down Allen's nerves. His hands flew up to grab Kanda's head, fingers tangling in his mussed-up black hair and tugging instinctively as Kanda sucked the spot. It stung and made Allen's toes curl with a strange sort of pain that he'd never experienced before— one that felt really, really good.

His body felt much too hot and he was beginning to get just a bit too uncomfortable when Kanda started tugging open the buttons on his borrowed jacket. Allen was leaning up on his elbows to help him take it off, but Kanda shoved him back down (not gently) and before Allen could mutter anything indignant, licked a wet trail down his now-bared chest. Allen's felt like he might go crazy and tried really hard to repress the loud moan he felt clawing up his throat; it came out as a strangled groan instead, and Allen felt Kanda's lips curve up against his skin.

His body was screaming at him that this wasn't enough, as amazing as it was. It was moving so fast, but it was still too slow— Allen wasn't really the most patient guy, especially not when it came to Kanda. And so his shaking hands found Kanda's hips, gripped them, and he ground their pelvises together. His head fell back and he moaned at the delicious friction, doing it again and again because it felt so good and he didn't know how to _stop_. Kanda's breath hitched against Allen's collarbone and his fingers dug into the dirt next to Allen's hips, fluidly grinding his hips into Allen's shallow thrusts. Allen could feel perfectly well just how hard Kanda was through the thin underwear briefs he was wearing and his body somehow heated up even more. The idea that Kanda was hard and aroused because of _him_ and was enjoying this just as much was a _really_ nice one, Allen found.

It started off slow and steady, but as they grew more desperate became faster and faster, hotter and hotter until Allen was crying out Kanda's name, eyes wet and wired shut, and Kanda was cursing under his breath, shaky fingers working even harder to open the buttons of the _stupid_ fucking jacket that was getting in his way of Allen's heated skin. Letting out a low growl of impatience, he smashed their lips together again and all but popped the buttons off as he ripped open the jacket. Lenalee could get a new one.

As he panted harshly into their open-mouthed kiss, Allen's unsteady hands came up to tug at Kanda's muscle shirt, trying to somehow bring it over his head without having to stop kissing him again. Eventually, he just let out an annoyed sound and tore it off, tossing the scraps of material off to the side. He figured he'd get shit about that later, but couldn't really care less right now. He felt Kanda's lips curl up in amusement against his and couldn't help but grin back, chuckling quietly.

"Sorry," he murmured, running his hands up and down Kanda's now-bare chest, giving himself a moment to shut his eyes and take in the moment because this was really happening and it wasn't a dream this time. Kanda felt a million times better in real life. He ran his hand across Kanda's tattoo, vaguely wondering about its purpose but deciding he'd ask another time. Kanda's stomach seemed to be a sensitive spot, because when Allen's mismatched fingers brushed over its hard muscle, he shivered violently, his hips faltering, and whimpered quietly into the kiss. _Whimpered_. Allen almost came.

His eyes wide, he looked at Kanda, whose cheeks were warm enough now that Allen could feel heat emanating from them onto his own. He couldn't help but snicker and let his hand trail purposely over that spot again. Kanda jerked his hips down harder with a sharp gasp, and as Allen giggled at this newfound weakness, pulled back to glare at him.

Allen sat up, propping himself up on his elbows with a grin. "What?"

"Don't do that."

"Do what?" Allen asked smugly.

"Don't… touch there." Kanda's cheeks were bright red.

Allen grinned widely. "Why not?" He reached to touch it again. Kanda glared but didn't move away, a small shudder going through him when Allen's fingertips brushed his stomach again. "It feels good, right?"

Instead of answering, Kanda pushed him back down, ducking his head to flick around one of Allen's nipples just as he ground his hips down again. Allen's mind blanked out and he shot a hand to his mouth to muffle a loud cry as Kanda took the hardened nib into his mouth, effectively making Allen forget about teasing him and turning him into a pile of writhing lust on the mossy ground.

Mismatched hands wrapped around Kanda's torso and the long nails on his cursed hand dug almost painfully into Kanda's back, leaving small crescent-moons on his pale skin. Kanda's fingers ghosted over the jagged scar running down Allen's chest and stomach, and Allen squirmed; the skin there was more sensitive than normal and made little sparks run up and down his spine. The mixed sensations of Kanda's suckling mouth, exploring hands and their clothed erections grinding into each other was getting to be too much, and Allen felt his body begin shaking, all coherent thoughts quickly leaving his head as a hot coil tightened deep in his core. He wanted to be ashamed at the thought of being this close already, but blamed it on the fact that he was a virgin. Probably, it was just because Kanda was driving him crazy.

"K-Kan— Yuu, I-I-"

His words were lost as Kanda stopped abusing and instead started teasing his nipples, just barely flicking the tip of his tongue across one and ghosting his fingers ever so slightly around the other. He slowed his hips and instead just dragged them down agonizingly slow and hard, pinning Allen's flailing ones to the ground with his free hand. Allen squirmed, teetering on that horrible edge just before climax, fingers clawing desperately at Kanda's skin. The slow, teasing pleasure was almost harder to handle than their rushed, hot one, but it wasn't enough and it was driving him crazy.

"You jerk," he ground out, uselessly trying to jerk his hips up or do _something_. He glared, panting, at Kanda, who just stared back coolly with a hint of a smirk.

"Not yet," he said. Allen's eyes widened in disbelief.

"Fuck you!" he exclaimed, his hands moving from Kanda's back to finish himself off because teetering right on the edge was the most sanity-straining feeling in the world and he really didn't have that much sanity to spare. Kanda had his wrists pinned down to the ground above his head in no time, and Allen glared up at him with desperate tears burning in the corners of his eyes.

"Please?" he tried. Part of him was appalled that he was begging for it, but mostly he didn't care. He would later, he was sure. But not right now. Kanda just smirked at him and shook his head, tapping Allen's bottom lip with three fingers.

"Suck."

Allen stared at him. "Why?"

Kanda just stared back flatly, as if Allen was the biggest moron in the world. "What?" Allen said defensively.

"Are you serious?" Kanda asked, his voice dry with amusement.

"It's not like I've ever done this before!" Allen said, his cheeks burning. "Don't you just… you know." He glanced down at Kanda's crotch, gulped, then looked back up to Kanda's amused eyes. "Stick it in?"

Kanda snorted, then let out a short laugh— Allen turned even redder, because he'd never heard Kanda laugh before and plus this was so _embarrassing._ "Don't laugh at me!" he yelled, whacking Kanda across the back of the head. "I'm serious!"

Kanda rubbed at the sore spot, smirking. "I could," he said, raising his eyebrows, "but it would hurt. A lot."

"Oh." Allen looked a bit alarmed.

"We don't really have any lube, so spit will have to do."

"Right…"

Kanda raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "Come on, bean sprout, you can't be _that_ innocent. You _did_ live with General Cross."

"That— well, yeah, but I never— had to do anything like _this_…"

"So I'm your first?"

Allen flushed, and avoided Kanda's eyes. "Yeah."

"Hm." Kanda almost sounded pleased, but Allen was too embarrassed to really notice. He was pulled back to the situation by Kanda's impatient, "Are you going to do it or do I have to?"

"What?" Allen asked blankly. "Oh." He realized when Kanda rolled his eyes and muttered something about morons under his breath. His embarrassed look faded into a scowl. "No, I'll do it," he muttered. He parted his lips willingly, nipping on the tip of Kanda's middle finger and earning himself a glare. It felt weird to have fingers in his mouth like this, but he found that oddly, the taste of skin and dirt (which must have been from their fight earlier) had a weird, appealing taste. Then he supposed that it was just because of the way Kanda was watching him— with this odd, flushed look which made really pleasant butterflies flutter in Allen's stomach. The look egged him on, and he let his tongue slowly drag between two fingers, shutting his eyes and feeling his cheeks heat up because it was too embarrassing to look at Kanda while he was doing this.

After a moment, Kanda mumbled that that was enough, and so Allen opened his mouth, feeling a bit embarrassed when a small string of saliva fell down his chin. Kanda didn't seem to care and even leaned down to kiss him again, making Allen's tummy heat up pleasantly again— he really did like kissing Kanda. Soon enough, he felt one hand tugging at his underwear, and felt a surge of nervousness. For a moment, he froze up, an inexplicable fear settling over him. Kanda stopped immediately (which Allen thought was oddly nice of him) and pulled back, eyebrows furrowed.

"Now what?"

"It's— I don't know—Just…" Allen trailed off, not even sure why he was nervous. He met Kanda's eyes, and at first all he saw was irritation and lust and impatience— but when he looked harder, he could see something else, and somehow it made the fear go away. He offered a half-smile, and said, "Nothing. Sorry."

Kanda 'tch'd and muttered something again, but Allen didn't hear, too distracted by the sudden cool air on his lower areas. An involuntary squeak escaped him, and his legs automatically clamped shut— at which Kanda scoffed again and pulled back open with a, "Holy fuck, Allen, I'm not going to rip your dick off." Allen couldn't help but snort a bit, but his amusement faded back into embarrassment again (he really wished he wasn't so awkward in situations like these, but it wasn't like he had all that much experience!) when he saw Kanda staring.

"Don't look!" he said, awkwardly shoving Kanda's head up into a normal position from where it had been angled down to look between Allen's legs.

"Oh my fucking _god_," Kanda snarled, rolling his eyes for the umpteenth time. "Look, are we doing this or not? Because I think you're going to have to accept that there is going to be a whole fucking lot of nudity, bean sprout. I've seen you naked before anyway."

"Yeah, but not like _this-_!"

"Will you stop whining if I take off my clothes first?" Kanda snapped.

Allen tittered for a moment, his blush darkening further at the thought of Kanda hovering over him naked. "I'm not whining, I just— oh, fine." He yanked at the half-down underwear and tossed them aside, ignoring his embarrassment and awkwardness this time, along with Kanda's half-smirk that he caught in the corner of his eye. He started pulling down the skirt, too, determined to just get this part over with (he really hoped it would get less awkward next time they did this— actually, Allen just hoped there would _be _a next time and that Kanda wouldn't think he was like sexually stunted or something), but Kanda stopped him.

"What now?" Allen asked warily.

"Keep the skirt."

Allen's jaw dropped. Kanda really was a pervert! "It's Lenalee's," he said weakly.

"I'm sure you know how to do laundry," Kanda murmured.

Allen continued gaping in disbelief, but quickly got over that when he noticed Kanda working on his own belt. For some reason, Allen felt nervous again— no, not _nervous_… He wasn't scared, and he trusted Kanda and he knew from some awkward self-probing that it could feel really good to have something up… _there_. He was still awkward of course, but he was sort of awkward around Kanda all the time, so he guessed that that wasn't the problem. He was just… overwhelmed. Yes, that was the word he was looking for. Overwhelmed.

And red-faced and speechless, since at some point when he'd been having a mental panic attack (he _really_ hated how he always thought about everything so much), Kanda had lost the pants and was now nestled between Allen's spread legs, completely naked. Allen swore that if he wasn't completely hard already, he was now, and as fucking embarrassing as it was, he couldn't find it in himself to care because _oh my fucking God Kanda is perfect._ He was stuck gaping for a moment, his cheeks flushed, and Kanda's left eyebrow twitched.

"What?"

"I… uh… yeah, um, you're hot and I think I'm gonna pass out…"

Kanda snorted a huff of laughter, a different smirk on his face now. Allen liked it— it wasn't snarky and guarded, but more amused and almost mischievous. "Well, we can't have that…" He slipped a hand between Allen's legs, smirk widening to a grin when Allen turned red again. "You're not allowed to pass out until _after_ we have sex, okay?"

Allen's response was cut short as he felt Kanda's slicked fingers brush over a place he hadn't dared ever touch, gasping softly at the almost tickling feeling. Kanda's eyes met his, and an unspoken request for permission passed through them. Allen nodded, his heart pounding in his throat, and felt one finger press inside.

He squirmed, not sure how he felt about it— it felt weird, a bit painful and not good in the least. He didn't say anything, though, except for a little whimper that sounded low in his throat. Soon, he felt a second finger slide in, and cringed— that hurt, a lot. "Kanda—" he murmured, fingers clawing at the dirt. "It h-hurts—"

"Just suck it up," Kanda muttered back, slowly scissoring his fingers now, smirking a bit when a low sound of discomfort escaped Allen's clamped-shut lips. Sighing, he leaned down to plant a soft kiss on Allen's cheek, trying to help him calm down in a rather soft and uncharacteristic way. "Relax," he said quietly. "It'll be easier."

Allen tried, taking a deep breath and falling limp on the ground, one hand sliding up to grab at Kanda's hair when his fingers pressed a certain way that made shivers run up Allen's spine. The pain eventually faded to a dull burn, and Allen realized that it felt good; he was squirming, and he was panting out short breaths, fingers tightening impossibly in Kanda's hair. He barely noticed when Kanda added the third finger, too busy trying to calm his racing heartbeat and get ahold of himself and keep a leash on the embarrassingly lewd sounds that desperately wanted to escape.

His free hand flew up to grasp at Kanda's forearm, mouth and eyes widening in a surprised gasp when he felt something inside of him get jabbed by Kanda's fingertips. Intense pleasure nearly blinded him, and he accidentally cried out, barely feeling Kanda smirk against his neck.

"There?"

"Oh god _yes_—!" Allen's plea was cut off by a choked cry, his head falling back onto the ground when Kanda purposely pressed his fingers against that spot again. He shuddered as pleasure ripped up his spine and squirmed on the bumpy ground, slapping the hand that had been in Kanda's hair to his mouth to muffle a loud moan. His other hand clawed at Kanda's forearm and his back arched as though he was trying to get away but at the same time get _more _of the almost unbearable teasing pleasure. Through squinted, wet eyes, Allen could see Kanda observing him with something glittering in his black, pupil- consumed eyes, and realized that Kanda was really getting off on this. The way he was rendering Allen to a mass of helpless lust was like beating him into submission in a different way. Allen found that the idea of Kanda wanting him so bad was a _really _sexy one, and had to squeeze his eyes shut and whimper into his hand.

He felt fingers wrap around the wrist of the hand covering his mouth and let one eye flutter open. Kanda had a strange smirk on again, and it made the hot coil in Allen's stomach tighten almost painfully. Kanda tugged his hand away from his mouth and his smirk widened until it was almost a feral grin.

"There's no one here," he said, and _oh god_ his voice was so hot right now that all Allen could do was shudder in delight and try not to moan again. "Don't try to stay quiet. It really doesn't suit you. Plus," he slowly stroked Allen's prostate again, making the body beneath him writhe and whimper, "I want to hear you."

Oh god, oh god Kanda was so fucking hot. Allen was really beginning to go mad― this felt amazing, but he needed more, _more_ before he lost his mind from this.

"M-maybe― I don't want you to," he breathed, squirming again as he tried to make Kanda either_ stop touching_ that spot or touch it more. "Maybe I don't want to―mm, god…" He ground his teeth together and tried _really_ hard not to scream in frustration. Kanda was _teasing_ him. He was going to lose it.

"Maybe you don't have a choice," Kanda muttered back, hooking his fingers towards himself. Allen's back arched up off the ground and he let out a startled cry. He finally broke.

"Yuu, _fuck_!"

"What is it, Moyashi?" Kanda sounded smug. Allen didn't care. He'd probably care later, but he didn't right now.

"P-please―" The heat in his stomach was tensing and Allen knew that if this didn't stop soon he was going to come from just this teasing. Kanda hadn't even touched his erection yet, and he was already this desperate. This wasn't enough. He needed more.

He managed to open his eyes and glare through slits at Kanda. "You're going to make me say it, aren't you." When Kanda's eyes just smirked at him and those torturous fingers tickled that spot again, Allen gasped sharply and panted, "Kanda―_more_―"

"More what?"

Allen was going to punch Kanda in the face. He let out a frustrated groan through clenched teeth then said, "Just _fuck me_ already before I lose my mind!"

"I don't know. It's fun to watch you squirm."

Allen felt tears beading at the corners of his eyes. "You're such a_ jerk_," he ground out. He made sure to dig his nails painfully into Kanda's arm and all but snarled, "Yuu Kanda, fuck me right now or I'm going to _kill_ you."

He heard Kanda mutter something that sounded insulting under his breath, then abruptly felt the fingers leave. Before he even had the chance to register the empty feeling, he felt something else prodding at where Kanda's fingers had been—something much bigger and much thicker. His cheeks heated up and he closed his eyes, too embarrassed to look at Kanda as he lost his virginity to him. It turned out that it didn't matter, because Kanda didn't even give Allen a warning before he pushed halfway in; Allen's eyes wired shut and an involuntary cry escaped him as he arched off the dirt, pain ripping through him. His fingers clawed at the mossy ground and tears welled up in the corners of his clamped eyelids. He heard Kanda sigh.

"Sorry," he murmured. He sounded sincere, albeit a bit irritated.

Allen was so surprised at Kanda's apology that he almost forgot about how much it hurt. If anything, it only enforced how much he wanted this— because even if Kanda was a huge jerk most of the time, it showed that he did care. Even a little. And that was all Allen needed. His eyes were stinging, but it wasn't because of pain this time. "It's okay," he said in a strangled yet calm voice. "Keep going."

"But—"

"Kan—Yuu. Seriously. It's okay." Allen wound their fingers together. "You didn't care five seconds ago, now keep going."

"I thought it'd be better if I just did it all at once," Kanda muttered, ignoring the last part of Allen's reassurance. "Apparently not."

"Kanda! Jesus, I'm fine, okay?"

"_Sorry_ for being concerned," Kanda snapped, flushing out of anger and what seemed to be embarrassment. "It's not like I've ever _done_ this before, either."

Allen softened, forgetting the pain completely. He didn't know why, but he'd assumed Kanda _had_ done this before— but somehow, he hadn't thought about the fact that Kanda was just like him and didn't like letting people in. It made his heart feel funny, and he felt like it might combust if it kept beating this hard._ Kanda is letting me in_.

"I'm used to pain," he said softly. "Especially from you." He squeezed Kanda's fingers in his, smiling at the hesitant look on Kanda's face. "Please. I'm fine, really." He wriggled his hips, a flush rising up his neck because he could feel Kanda inside him and it was the best thing he'd ever felt in his life, despite how weird and unfamiliar it was. He saw Kanda's eyes darken, and noticed the slight shudder that shook him, and his soft smile widened to a grin. "Come on. We're both gonna go soft if you keep this up, and you're really beginning to make me question whether or not you're actually Kanda or if you've been kidnapped and brainwashed into a soft, caring version of your former assholish self."

"Holy fuck, shut the fuck up," Kanda growled, whatever shred of self-restraint he'd been holding onto disappearing. He pulled out and slammed ruthlessly back in just as Allen grabbed his hair and yanked him down into a hard, sloppy kiss. Allen cried out against Kanda's lips and his head snapped back, tears beading at the corners of his eyes in pain even though he'd been braced for it. He didn't care, though— he'd never minded when Kanda hurt him. It was bittersweet, and he'd come to love it. Maybe that was masochistic, but he didn't care about that either; all he did care about was that Kanda was kissing him, Kanda was on top of him, Kanda was moving inside of him and this was _real_. His toes curled, and he dug his fingers hard into Kanda's skull, back arching involuntarily off of the ground. He heard Kanda growl a breathless curse and suddenly felt the hands gripping his hips lift them a bit higher, before Kanda thrust back in and made Allen see stars.

"Oh God!" he cried out, gripping Kanda's hair so hard that he'd be worried about ripping it out if he had the ability to think coherently. Kanda seemed to like it and continuously hit that same spot again and again until Allen's cries turned into moans, which melted into breathless gasps and pants when his voice started to die. It seemed neither of them was going to last long—the fact that this was their first time, that they had both been waiting forever for this, and the frenzied, uneven roll of Kanda's hips into Allen's writhing ones came together to create a sort of burning, torturous ecstasy that pooled and tensed in their abdomens until they were both panting each other's names and on the brink of losing it.

At this point, Allen didn't care that it wasn't going to last long— it didn't matter. He felt Kanda lick a hot trail down his neck and the skirt that had started all of this brushing his over-sensitive erection, and just knew that he needed to reach climax now or he was going to lose his mind. Before he could get anything out, he heard Kanda let out a strangled groan, then hot breath on his neck as Kanda breathed. "I'm g-gonna—"

"Me too," Allen gasped sharply, eyes shut tight. He jerked his hips up in a way that made his painfully hard erection brush Kanda's stomach, and let out a weak moan. "So c-close, Kanda, _fuck_—" He was shaking so hard, and knew he sounded like a bitch in heat whining and moaning Kanda's name, but he couldn't help it— each of his nerves were burning and making his body feel like it was lit from the inside out as his body prepared for the inevitable. Sane thought was something he couldn't have had if he wanted to; the pleasure wracking at each of his senses was too much. Kanda's earthy scent, the taste of Kanda's tongue in his mouth, the feeling of hot, slick skin sliding against hot slick skin, the harsh panting and skin smacking in the air, and most of all, Kanda's expression— eyes half-lidded and glazed, watching Allen cry and moan and lose his damn mind, eyebrows pushed together in ecstasy— it was all too much, and Allen felt the world stop for a moment, and then everything came undone.

Kanda's name was a broken moan on his lips as the prickling pleasure burst into the most intense feeling Allen had ever felt; it came in waves and all he could do was pant and cling to Kanda for dear life. He barely heard Kanda let out a guttural moan into his ear, but did feel warmth filling him— and he didn't know why, but for some reason, as he was floating in blissful heaven, he whispered, "I love you."

"Fuck," Kanda breathed, breathing heavily and when Allen finally opened his eyes, he saw that Kanda looked kind of pissed— but in a relaxed way, if that made sense.

"Kanda?" he said quietly, too exhausted to feel properly worried about whether or not he'd just majorly fucked up by saying that. Kanda just shook his head and pulled out, rolling onto his back beside Allen and pulling him close. Allen was slightly surprised that Kanda would be a cuddler, but he didn't resist and buried his face in Kanda's neck, wrapping his arms around his waist. He heard Kanda let out something like a frustrated sigh.

"You're a pain in the ass," he murmured.

"So I've been told," Allen responded, rolling his eyes. He felt really gross and sticky, but warm and complete and much too tired to get up and do anything about it. "Why now?"

"Because." Kanda paused, then muttered so quietly Allen barely heard it over the babbling of the creek. "I… I love you too, and don't you dare ever make me fucking say that again."

Allen laughed, the corners of his lips tugging up into a genuine grin. He pressed himself tighter to Kanda, unable to fight the grin despite how silly and stupid he felt about it. "Good." Then he added, "I think I should make bets with Lavi more often, if it's gonna lead to things like this…"

"About that," Kanda said, and Allen realized with a pleased start that Kanda sounded just as drowsy as he felt. He felt Kanda's fingers brush along the edge of the soiled red skirt. "After this skirt is cleaned, don't get rid of it."

Allen coughed out something like a laugh. "You're worse than Lavi."

"Shut up."

"I never pegged you as a pervert, Kanda, but this afternoon has really convinced me otherwise."

"Seriously, shut up," Kanda repeated, sounding irritated but too sleepy to do anything about it.

"You don't sound as cranky as usual. Is someone happy?"

"Shut the _fuck_ _up_."

**xxXXxxXXxx**

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: I just ugh. Can't write dem lemons like I used to. Was this okay? Urg. And the ending. Blah. I'm sorry. Kwnkwnkrngiqtngjqtbguqg. **

**Anyway, I think I'll add one more chapter after this to wrap it up. :) Thanks for reading, I hope the lemon was good enough. D: **

**Also: FOR THE LITTLE SHIT WHO KEPT COMING INTO MY ROOM LATE AT NIGHT AND WHISPERING EVILLY AT ME TO FINISH THIS FUCKING CHAPTER, ARE YOU HAPPY? I SLAVED OVER THIS SHIT NOW YOU BETTER COME BRING ME CHOCOLATE THE MOMENT YOU READ THIS LITTLE BRO.**

**I'm done. *flies away into the sunset***

***voice in the wind* **_**Leave a review but don't tell me if it sucked because I knoooooooooooooow…**_


	6. And they lived happily ever after

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: I'm sort of speechless. Thanks for all that positive feedback— wow, I can't believe you guys thought that lemon was **_**good**_**. I was all happy because holy shit the positive reviews were CRAZY. Guess I should be more confident in myself! :)**

**Oh, and I made a Facebook page. There's not anything on it yet because I dunno, I feel like it'd be pointless to post anything right now, since there are only three or four likes so far— but yeah, if you're interested, the link is on my profile. Help me out? :)**

**So, anyway, this is just a chapter to wrap this up. Hope you enjoy and thanks again for all those reviews!**

**xxXXxxXXxx**

That night, Allen was lying on his bed, daydreaming about the events of the day. His cheeks were flushed and he knew he was being a huge pervert, remembering the way Kanda's eyes smouldered when they looked at him, the rough ground biting into his back, the burning heat that came with every touch, the feeling of being full with Kanda's— He quickly cut that thought off. He didn't want to get _too_ into it. He was expecting Lenalee to return with his outfit anytime now and didn't want to be caught with an awkward erection all because he couldn't keep a hold on his horny and hormone-addled brain.

As if on cue, there was a knock on his door. He jumped to his feet, shoving that last thought of Kanda moaning against his chest into the back of his thoughts. Glancing around to make sure nothing looked suspicious— not that anything would, really, the only thing that had happened here was that he'd dragged Kanda down for a quick kiss before saying good-bye— but he mostly wanted to make sure that the dirtied skirt was hidden from sight. He didn't really know how he was going to explain its whereabouts… or the state of her torn jacket… or the cum-stained stockings… actually, he was going to throw those out. He hastily shoved them into his trashbin and covered them with random trash before quickly fixing his hair and opening the door.

The first thing he saw was Lenalee grinning widely. It made him turn red. He was already flustered, but her perverse grin just made him awkward. Then he spotted Lavi, also grinning like a demon, with Kanda in a headlock behind her. Kanda was glaring daggers at all of them. His eyes fell on Allen, and Lenalee giggled when Kanda flushed and Allen turned even redder.

"Here you go," Lenalee exclaimed, shoving Allen's folded clothes into his hands. He nearly dropped them, abruptly breaking eye contact with Kanda, and nodded.

"Ah, thanks…" He moved aside. "You guys can come in." Lenalee strolled in, a struggling Kanda and grinning Lavi right behind her. "So uh… what's going on here?"

"Well, you see," Lenalee said, making herself at home on Allen's bed, "Kanda refused to tell us any of the juicy details, so we thought it would be appropriate to use force." She smiled brilliantly.

Just then, Kanda managed to wriggle out of Lavi's death grip. "Do you _want_ to fucking die?" he snarled, shoving the redhead away.

"No," Lavi responded excitedly, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "I just wanna know details, so spill!" He shoved Kanda Allen's way, grinning wickedly. Allen squeaked and his hands shot out automatically to stop Kanda from connecting painfully with his body and ended up making them end up in a weird sort of embrace. Allen didn't know what to do (he didn't deal well with awkwardness) and Kanda didn't pull away, instead letting out a long, frustrated sigh. Allen felt his stomach warm up.

Then Kanda awkwardly moved away because Lenalee and Lavi were watching intently. He cleared his throat, avoiding everyone's eyes. "I'm still not telling you guys anything," he muttered.

Allen, who was still slightly flushed, tittered awkwardly next to him. He was already a mess around Kanda— and now that they had actually _done_ what he'd always fantasized, it was even more awkward because he couldn't stop thinking about it. Just standing in Kanda's presence was rendering him to a fidgeting virgin. He noticed Lenalee looking at him expectantly and swallowed, attempting to look normal.

"I'm not saying anything either," he said with as much as a straight face as he could manage. One of them had to at least attempt to not be completely awkward, and since Kanda seemed to be fascinated with glaring at a mark on the wall, Allen figured it was gonna have to be him. He straightened. "It's none of your business, to be blunt. What happened stays between Kanda and I. Honestly."

"You know they're not going to let it go," Kanda said in disgust, flopping down on Allen's bed as if he owned it. Allen found he really enjoyed seeing Kanda sprawled out on his bed (even if Lenalee was sitting next to him) and stared for a moment, a heat rising in his cheeks. Kanda noticed and rolled his eyes. "And if you keep doing that, they're _really_ not going to let it go."

"Sorry," Allen murmured. He shook his head, slapping his cheeks firmly. He grabbed his folded clothes and hung them in the closet, ignoring the two pairs of eyes burning holes into his back. When he turned around, Lavi and Lenalee were still staring expectantly. He threw his hands up. "What do you want me to say?" he demanded. "We had sex, okay?"

Kanda choked. "Jesus fucking Christ, Moyashi—"

"What? They already know."

"Still—"

"Of course you had sex!" Lavi said exasperatedly. "Duh! We _planned_ that, remember?" His green eye widened. "You need to tell us details. _Deeetails_." He waved his hands around. "Who bottomed? Was there any oral involved? Is Kanda a screamer? Did—"

"_Where is Mugen I'm going to fucking slaughter you_."

"I don't know, Kanda, it's _your_ sword," Lenalee said flippantly, waving a hand. "But anyway, we just want to know. Actually, we kind of deserve to— we were the ones to set this all up. Say, where are my clothes?"

Allen met Kanda's eyes then, an awkward laugh bubbling out of him. Kanda suddenly looked uncomfortable. The whole ripping of Lenalee's jacket and Kanda's husky "keep the skirt" hung in the air around them. "Ah… actually…" Allen chewed his lip, trying to think of a way to put it that didn't sound horrible. "It got, um… ruined."

Lenalee, instead of getting upset, smiled so brightly Allen thought he might have been blinded had it been any brighter. "Oh that's fine!" she squealed. "I don't mind, really!"

"Great…"

A slow grin had spread across Lavi's face. "You guys are crazy. You ruined the _whole_ outfit?"

Kanda's face was bright red and he sat up straight, snapping, "Get your fucking mind out of the gutter, you fucking asshole. We _fought_. Allen ripped the jacket because of his bullshit fighting skills. Are we clear? Good." He growled irritably, grabbing one of Allen's pillows and shoving his face into it.

Lavi snickered. "Yuu _has_ always been a terrible liar."

"I'm _not _lying!" Kanda's voice was muffled. His hair was fanned out all over the bed. It made Allen's throat feel dry.

"Oh my god," Allen breathed. "You know what, this is bullshit. This is what happened." He gave Lavi and Lenalee a long, hard stare. "I brought him tea. We ended up throwing punches and that ended up with us having sex on the forest ground. In the process, Kanda ripped the jacket. The skirt and stockings, well— I'm not even going to go there."

If dying of embarrassment was possible, Allen was sure Kanda would have spontaneously fallen over dead. He practically smothered himself with the pillow, groaning low in his throat.

"Mmgnn krr yrr."

"Um… what?" Allen said blankly, giving Kanda a concerned look.

Kanda pulled the pillow from his face and glared. "I'm going to kill you." Then he put it back and continued to mutter dark things into it.

Lenalee looked so excited at the idea of her clothes being stained with sex that Allen was actually quite disturbed. He wondered if she was completely alright in the head. "Oh, then, don't worry at all!" she said, flustered. "Heat of the moment, I get it…"

"Ugh," Allen groaned. He wanted to curl up and die. "Yes, fantastic. Heat of the moment. You got it. Can you leave?"

"Who bottomed?" Lavi interrupted. Allen groaned again, hitting his head against the wall. Maybe they'd leave if he kept doing this. "Come on Allen, tell us!" Maybe not.

"Why is this relevant?" Allen whined. "Seriously, can't this be my and Kanda's secret?"

"It isn't much of a secret."

"You know what I mean!"

"Just answer and we'll leave you alone," Lavi said with a sweet smile.

Kanda sat up straight and looked him dead in the eye, an aura of absolute homicide around him. "Allen bottomed," he said in a dangerous voice. "And yes, before you ask, he screamed my name. It was fantastic. And no, I'm not a fucking screamer, Jesus Christ Lavi. Now," he stood up, forcibly grabbing Lenalee and Lavi and shoving them towards the door, "get the fuck _out_."

The door slammed shut before either of them could ask any more questions. Breathing heavily, Kanda kicked it for good measure and then stomped back over to Allen's bed and continued smothering himself with the pillow. Allen stared at him for a moment, then poked his head out of his door. Lavi and Lenalee were still standing there. Allen grimaced.

"Sorry…"

"No, that's fine," Lavi said with a smirk. "Go on and do whatever it is you two wanna do."

Allen wanted to punch him. He only refrained from doing so because he was absolutely exhausted. "Well, actually, Kanda's busy trying to commit suicide. I'm not really into necrophilia, so I'm guessing that the only thing that's gonna happen is that I'm going to kick him off my bed and sleep now."

Lenalee looked at him with sparkly eyes. "Can you cuddle him? Please?"

"I don't fuckin' want Moyashi clinging to my arm like a barnacle," Kanda called from inside the room. "So no."

Allen rolled his eyes. "Can you guys leave?"

"Fine!" Lavi frowned. Allen sighed. _Finally_. "But you have to tell us what happens—"

"_Go away_."

**xxXXxxXXxx**

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: Well, there you have it! This fic is finally complete! This chapter is really pointless, but I just wanted to throw some more perverted Lenalee and Lavi in there, since they seemed so popular. :D **

**Thanks so much for reading! I'm glad everyone liked it and gave me so much positive feedback— it means a lot! **

**Bye for now! :D**


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